A conundrom

gcs · Post by **gcs** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 8:59 am

A good friend of mine, just offered to pay half on a 3 day pronghorn hunt in Montana, so I could get a chance at an "away" trip. I'm sort of staggered by his offer and generosity, I don't even know what that would cost, as I'm really not in a position for these kind of trips.

He's done well, but is by no means a rich guy, he knows that I'd enjoy it, and I would, but accepting seems like some kind of welfare, especially when everyone else is paying their own way.

It would also be in my busiest season of work, and I really can't afford to not take care of the customers who I've built up over many years.

I feel I can't accept his generous offer, I'm not looking to be talked into or out of his offer, but thought I'd get some of your input.

Post by **Hobie** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:04 am

I understand completely. I'd just tell him that I can't take the time from my customers but I deeply appreciate the offer. If I were he I'd understand completely.

Tycer · Post by **Tycer** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:06 am

When I offer a gift, I offer it with no strings. It's just a gift, not a charity. If I were the one to offer you that gift, it just means I would like to spend a great hunt with you and want to give it to you. If you can't go and give me a hearty "Thanks, but I can't make it this time...Raincheck?", I'll be disappointed, but pleased you were receptive.

45-70- · Post by **45-70-** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:10 am

Very generous offer indeed. We should all be so lucky to have those type of friends. Remove his offer from the whole equation. Can you afford(not money wise but work wise)to go right now? Will this impact your work as you suggest? If so, then thank him profusely and explain to him why you have to decline. If the trip wont hurt your work or home life, then accept the offer and work out what ever deal you want to with him.

PaperPatch · Post by **PaperPatch** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:32 am

I'm going to assume that...you've never hunted Antelope before.

There will always be work to do, and bills to be paid. Always.

Take some time away from that wretched economic cycle, and enjoy your friends.

One day...........you can return the favor; and won't that be nice!

kimwcook · Post by **kimwcook** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:35 am

I understand your dilema. But like paperpatch said, work will always be there, this oppurtunity to spend time with a good friend may not. We aren't around forever.

jnyork · Post by **jnyork** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:58 am

What paperpatch said. Do you own your business or does your business own you?

I have personally presided over the deaths of several elderly people who lay in the hospital or nursing home for months if not years. Not a single one of them expressed a wish that they had spent more time at the office.

Gun Smith · Post by **Gun Smith** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:50 am

If you have "good" customers as you say, let them know you are going on a trip. I can't believe that your week off will cause them any major problems. I think that they would be happy for you. Life is too short. GO FOR IT!

Old Ironsights · Post by **Old Ironsights** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:54 am

If you have a personal relationship with your customers - which it sounds like you do - why not call them?

It's the start of a new year, so call your clients to see how they are doing and let them know that you have been invited out on an expenses paid vacation (unless they are gunnies no need to say what) and that you want to make sure everything is covered while you are gone.

They should be happy for you and more than willing to cut you some slack. Then take their order(s) to cover your absence.

Then go shoot somthing and call your customers on your return, thank them for their understanding and then take their order(s) to cover what they didn't buy befory you left.

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:07 pm

Someone told me once that they had never heard of someone laying on their death dead complaining that they hadn't worked enough in their life.
They had how ever heard people wish they had taken more time off.

Rusty <><

Lobo · Post by **Lobo** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 2:34 pm

When Christ was washing the feet of the disciples, Peter said that He would not wash his feet. Christ told Peter that this was not a proper Christian attitude!! Allowing others to be kind and generous to us is what Christ would have us do!!!

Paul105 · Post by **Paul105** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 3:19 pm

45-70- wrote:Very generous offer indeed. We should all be so lucky to have those type of friends. Remove his offer from the whole equation. Can you afford(not money wise but work wise)to go right now? Will this impact your work as you suggest? If so, then thank him profusely and explain to him why you have to decline. If the trip wont hurt your work or home life, then accept the offer and work out what ever deal you want to with him.

Plus 1 on what 45-70 said above, also, I'll stir the pot a bit. Antelope hunting in Montana, is one of my favorite kinds of hunting. In early October the weather, for the most part is very moderate. Hunting is mostly spot and stalk. Terrain is not to rugged. Eventhough it appears flat, there is enough broken ground, draws, depressions, hills, ridges, etc. to make a stalk. You will see lots of game. Fall is in the air, cool crisp mornings and nice temperate days. Unless there has been a hard freeze and/or heavy winds, the trees will still have their fall colors. If you are in the Eastern part of the state you most likely will see some impressive Mulie and/or White Tail Bucks. Depending upon when/where you go, there are plenty of combo hunts available -- Antelope, coyotes, prarie dogs, upland game and Mulie/White Tail deer. In 2008, rifle antelope season opens the 12th of Oct and the general big game (Deer, etc.) rifle season opens Oct 26. Antelope start losing the black casing part of their horns in early Nov (IIRC), so the window for Deer/Antelope with horns at the same time can be limited.

http://fwp.mt.gov/hunting/seasons/default.html

Hope you get a chance to go.

Paul

Scott64A · Post by **Scott64A** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 3:41 pm

Accepting the gift honors the giver.

Plus, there will ALWAYS be the workweek.
This sounds like a good chance to go on an antelope hunt with some friends.

Your customers are also "friends", but in a much different way. If you died today, they would replace you. Your hunting buddy would know that you can't be replaced.

You've got to decide for yourself ulimately, but remember this: it's only a week, and people are just going to have to understand that.
I had my own painting business for 5 years, and the thing that always made me mad was that no matter how hard I worked, or how much I sacrificed for my cutomers, (even the long-term ones,) nobody cared if I was inconvenienced by THEIR rescheduling -it was always a *** story when I had to move things back a little. Work is work, pleasure is pleasure.

Go get you some hunting pleasure and take lots of pictures!

gcs · Post by **gcs** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:26 pm

Guys, I really appreciate your responses, That week in Oct. could be worked around I suppose, I fully realize if I kicked the bucket tomorrow, I wouldn't be missed very long, lol , I'm just having a hard time being a gift taker, the value is considerable, and I'm afraid of being a "freeloader".
When you've spent your whole life being a provider and sacrificing, it's awful hard to switch gears.
I mean, it's sorta like a kid giving another kid a dollar to be his friend,

Thanks for the therapy session, I got a lot of thinking to do, and that always makes my brain hurt!

The Lewis · Post by **The Lewis** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:30 pm

I believe OI has a good insight. Don't think of this as a charitable 'hand out', If I had the $ to spare and wanted a friend, who might not have it, to go with me on a hunt, or any other trip, I'd offer the same. To me that is what friendship and money are all about. Try to find a way to go, better to regret going than to regret not going!

Whatever you choose, there is no wrong choice, you just have to be able to live with the choice you make.

Cheers

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:38 pm

I have taken a friend or two with me on hunts when I was able to do so. There was never a charitable thought in my mind. It was purely a wholly selfish proposition, I wanted to share my enjoyment of the moment with my friend. Last year, the situations were reversed, and I was honored to accompany my friend. I had as much fun when I was the invitee as when I was the host. 'Tis the mark of friendship.

Old Ironsights · Post by **Old Ironsights** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:39 pm

The Lewis wrote:I believe OI has a good insight. Don't think of this as a charitable 'hand out', If I had the $ to spare and wanted a friend, who might not have it, to go with me on a hunt, or any other trip, I'd offer the same. To me that is what friendship and money are all about. Try to find a way to go, better to regret going than to regret not going!

Whatever you choose, there is no wrong choice, you just have to be able to live with the choice you make.

Cheers

+1 and more. (Griff's answer too).

I wish (A) I had the money to do offer somthing like that & (B) a local friend I could offer it to.

I really hate hunting alone - but it seems to be my karma.

gcs: What business are you in? I'm a PR guy - I'll work with you on a proper cCustomer Service PR release...

bluesman423 · Post by **bluesman423** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:47 pm

Take the time off and make the trip.

Here's another thought for you: What kind of regrets would you have if this friend suddenly passed away a week after the trip?

LeverBar · Post by **LeverBar** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:07 pm

Our Manhood in America has taught us to not take gifts.

It is disturbing to be the one in the position to offer a gift to a family member or a dear friend, and have to discuss the reasons the person should accept.

If a person has made the offer, it is likely they have thought it through and will not be affected negatively by giving. There is much that the giver receives in having the other person accept the gift. But the bantering involved in trying to talk another into accepting the gift, often times takes the glow off of the situation, laying on so much tarnish that the gift no longer carries the good will that both parties could have cherished.

Take the gift before you turn it sour.

If you don't die on the hunt, perhaps you will be afforded an opportunity to give a treasure back to your friend. Most things keep going around; kindness is one of them that does.

1886 · Post by **1886** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 7:00 pm

Maybe, no, likely someday you will be able to pass on his gift to another. If you felt strongly enough about a buddy to offer him a similar opportunity would you want him to refuse? Your buddy did not offer this to you because he wanted you to refuse. Take it and have a blast then pass it on when you can. 1886

Andrew · Post by **Andrew** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 7:31 pm

My vote is prejudice in the fact that I don't hunt, but I would say it's a pass situation. Sounds like you have a wonderful friend and for that you are blessed for sure. He will understand fully.

edsguns · Post by **edsguns** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:03 pm

GCS, I am apt to think your friend ...in some way, understands your "predicament". Someone who can afford to go on a hunting trip and wants a VERY good friend to go as well, would make an offer such as this one. He simply feels he would much prefer his trip more.. if you were there as well. My opinion is that we only go around once...and ,heaven forbid, neither you , nor your friend are gone somewhere next year.... that requires a cancellation...forever, in your trip together! I am retired military and I feel, I know from where I speak. GOOD LUCK!![/b]