Humor: wanted for attempted murder

[Gun Runner]

BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego , was visiting her in-laws, and
while there she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up
and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open,
and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda
replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been
holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors
were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When
they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the
back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud
noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the
back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt
the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but
quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until
someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde and a Democrat who is going to vote for Hillary, but
I'm certain that's irrelevant

Gun Runner

[Ysabel Kid]

I agree - if she really is a blonde Democrat voting for Hillary, the gooey dough is really her brains!

[LeverBob]

We're DOOMED...

LeverBob

[LeverBob]

Completely!

LB

[El Chivo]

ok add biscuit dough to the EPA hazardous materials list.

[2571]

The entire story, including hair color and political party is as believeable
as Hillary's claims about Bosnian snipers.

[ursavus.elemensis]

I've had this happen to me. Well, not the part about holding in my brains or sitting in my car for an hour. And, not the part about beig blond (I've got dark hair, and not much of it left), not the part about being a Democrat (I'm a Ronald Reagan Conservative Republican), and not the part about voting for Hilary (I'm voting for my dog, Trevor). OK, so, maybe this did not happen to me after all. Wait, it sort of did. I had some pillsbury pizza dough in the refrigerator, and I reached in to get it, and I was going to make a really good pizza with ground meat (which I'd already cooked) and red peppers and mushrooms. And, I reached in, and found that the canister had exploded in the fridge, probably because I'd left it in there for like a copule of months, and there was all this gooey brain stuff coming out, which I think was mold.