HUMOR - Banned from Wal-Mart
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HUMOR - Banned from Wal-Mart
Happy Friday
Enjoy
Poor Mr. Fenton, Banned From Wal*Mart]
BANNED FROM WAL-MART...........
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local
Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right way."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least ..
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
WalMart
Enjoy
Poor Mr. Fenton, Banned From Wal*Mart]
BANNED FROM WAL-MART...........
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local
Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right way."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least ..
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
WalMart
Jeremy
GySgt USMC Ret
To err is human, To forgive is devine, Neither of which is Marine Corps policy
Semper Fidelis
GySgt USMC Ret
To err is human, To forgive is devine, Neither of which is Marine Corps policy
Semper Fidelis
-
- Levergunner
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2007 7:57 pm
- Location: Tarija, Bolivia
- Contact:
Wish I had the nerve to try that. Hate being retired and that is one of the reasons why, honey keep me company!. Oh Well! we do not have a Wal Mart here.
Oz
Oz
Remaining a curious student throughout life renders one’s life interesting and progressive.
Robert Smyth
He stated that the way I feel.
Knowledge is all we do, see, touch, hear, read. What we do with that knowledge shows our wisdom.
Robert Smyth
He stated that the way I feel.
Knowledge is all we do, see, touch, hear, read. What we do with that knowledge shows our wisdom.
-
- Levergunner 3.0
- Posts: 709
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Very Funny. But it is an Urban Legend
Snopes has even more pranks listed. Enjoy.
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp
Snopes has even more pranks listed. Enjoy.
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp
- Ysabel Kid
- Moderator
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- Levergunner 2.0
- Posts: 257
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Man, I hope you're kidding. You won't last long like that.Oz n bolivia wrote:Wish I had the nerve to try that. Hate being retired and that is one of the reasons why, honey keep me company!. Oh Well! we do not have a Wal Mart here.
Oz
Q: Why do men die sooner than women?
A: Because they want to.
Hope you find a way to get your "me time". If I had any hope of retiring I'd have to decline if that's all I had to look forward to.
-
- Senior Levergunner
- Posts: 1214
- Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:34 pm
- Location: Big Island
A true paniolo, do you mind if I sign you up for the Parker Ranch Rodeo?GANJIRO wrote:This worked for me at the Hondo, Texas Wal-Mart...
Bunkloco
“We, as a group, now have a greater moral responsibility to act than those who live in ignorance, once you become knowledgeable you have an obligation to do something about it.” Ron Paul
- handirifle
- Senior Levergunner
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Well you know laughter is the best curehandirifle wrote:I have been sick with the flu and a sinus infection for the last week. I say this cause you nearly killed me. Ever try to laugh so hard that you cry, when your lungs are filled with flim?????
Very very good. even if I do sound like an emphasema patient in his last days.
Jeremy
GySgt USMC Ret
To err is human, To forgive is devine, Neither of which is Marine Corps policy
Semper Fidelis
GySgt USMC Ret
To err is human, To forgive is devine, Neither of which is Marine Corps policy
Semper Fidelis
- handirifle
- Senior Levergunner
- Posts: 1146
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 11:38 pm
- Location: Central Coast of CA
- Contact: