OT - Humor - The Blonde Painter

[Ysabel Kid]

A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of fresh paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is okay. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it, by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket.

She replied that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said...,



You'll love this..., Yep... I know you will...,






"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS"

[JustaJeepGuy]

People always tell jokes about the blondes, but when was the last time you saw a brunette with blonde roots?

[Old Savage]

Actually - they are doing that now.

[JustaJeepGuy]

They are? Well, I haven't seen it--but I don't get out much, either.

[gamekeeper]

Glad to see you're back

[Borregos]

[2ndovc]

jb

[Ysabel Kid]

They are? Well, I haven't seen it--but I don't get out much, either.

I guess I don't either - but I saw some really wierd sh!t during my vacation last week. Between hair coloring, odd hair shaving, tatoos and piercings all I have to say is that someone unlocked the gates at the circus, and the freak show escaped!!!

[Buck Elliott]

Brunette with Blonde roots = Artificial Intelligence...

[TedH]

[Old Ironsights]

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.


The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,


"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch ."

[Ysabel Kid]

[4t5]

YOU HAVE SUCH BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HAIR ...WHY DO YOU DYE THE ROOTS SO DARK?...TRY THAT AND SEE THE REACTION YOU GET!

[madman4570]

Oh Boy, another one for the blonde wife.
I am already in trouble from the jokes from MikeD and
Old Ironsights !!

Sleeping on the couch for a night is worth it though!
I will just hug my gun and my little dog!!!
Who needs the wife!

[KWK]

Between hair coloring, odd hair shaving, tatoos and piercings all I have to say is that someone unlocked the gates at the circus

I've never understood why women do this. Do they think they are improving their appearance? It's rare to see a truly ugly woman. Now, lot's of them make themselves physically unattractive, with excess weight, make-up, perfume, sloppy grooming, etc, but it's been a while since I last saw a woman who was fundamentally ugly.

[cas]

^ Well that's like women who lie about their age. They just don't get it, they do it the wrong way. A 40 year old woman will lie and say she's 30. If the lie is obvious, we'll know right off. If it's not obvious... who cares? If they wanted to impress us they would go the other way and say they're 50. Then it would be "Wow.. you sure don't look 50!" Instead it's "you're 30.... yeah right."

[flatnose]

KWK,
you need to travel more, or not. Ever visited England.

[Travis Morgan]

Actually - they are doing that now.

Yup; looks dumb as hell. This look is often combined with a bad case of "stapler face."

[KWK]

KWK, you need to travel more, or not. Ever visited England. :lol:

I lived there for over two years.

The women are rather attractive on the whole. They use much less make-up than American women. The skin is usually pale, but that generally equates to softer skin, skin not suffering from too much sun. They are rather chesty, too. American women tend to be fat, which I really dislike. The younger English gals are getting to be as fat as the Americans, but the gals in their 40s are of a generation that tends to keep their figures. I saw countless English gals in their 40s who had figures that many American college girls can only dream about. US gals tend to be more assertive and self confident, which I like.

[Travis Morgan]

English and Australian girls, in my experience are just plain vulgar.

[Old Ironsights]

...it's been a while since I last saw a woman who was fundamentally ugly.

Haven't been to a Wal Mart the day after the welfare checks come in, have you?

You can count the teeth on one hand, but couldn't calculate tha mass with a CRAY...

[madman4570]

ya, you can tell when the Walmart Crew have come
to town.
While you are shopping, in the next isle over you here this loud woman yelling with speech that sounds like her tongue is stuck
to the top of her mouth----
" JUNIOR,JUNIOR WHERE ARE YOU JUNIOR,COME TO MOMMA!!
then you hear them say HANNNNNT,WE ARE REALLY DOIN IT NOW.
WE ARE REALLY IN THE BIG TITTY ARENT WE!!!!!!
HANNNNNNT!!!!!!!!!

[KWK]

You can count the teeth on one hand, but couldn't calculate the mass with a CRAY.

As I said, many strive to make themselves unattractive, but that doesn't mean they fundamentally are. Many women who look fine standing there become undesirable as soon as they open their mouth, but that does not change their physical appearance. Missing teeth and excess mass are things they do to themselves; it's not what they were born with. I see many (mostly?) ugly women daily, but of women who keep themselves fit and tidy, there are very, very few ones basically ugly (ie., unsightly) -- undesirable maybe, but ugly no.

As for Aussie and English gals being vulgar, that doesn't fit my experience. I've lived in Australia as well as England. The Aussie lasses are the hottest physically, but I find the most exciting gals to talk with and be with are in the US.

Take these comments with a grain of salt: I married a Chinese engineer.

[GoatGuy]

ya, you can tell when the Walmart Crew have come
to town.
While you are shopping, in the next isle over you here this loud woman yelling with speech that sounds like her tongue is stuck
to the top of her mouth----
" JUNIOR,JUNIOR WHERE ARE YOU JUNIOR,COME TO MOMMA!!
then you hear them say HANNNNNT,WE ARE REALLY DOIN IT NOW.
WE ARE REALLY IN THE BIG TITTY ARENT WE!!!!!!
HANNNNNNT!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, that's one of the reasons I don't bother to change my clothes, boots or put on a clean ball cap after working with the goats all morning, when I take time to leave the farm and fruitlessly check out the near empty ammo counter at our Wal-Mart for bulk .22lr!

[madman4570]

I think its that strong salty stench that turns the women on!
I have noticed during deer season, I just leave on the rutting buck
lure and the gals smile and stare at me.(even some of the guys do)

[GoatGuy]

madman4570 - hope you didn't misunderstand my post. I'm not "trollin' for chicks", just figure no one will notice my dishevelment with all of those coarse, loudmouth louts sloughing along behind their shopping carts. I like to keep a low profile, don'cha know!

And just so you folks know, I'm an inveterate Wally World shopper and have been for 30 years. Got to get my fix at least once a week for one necessity or the other. I'd never move anywhere there wasn't a Walmart in the vicinity.

[madman4570]

No your right, Walmart does have some good deals.
The chick thing I was just kidding ya, being stupid!
See ya,

[JustaJeepGuy]

Speaking of ugly women, I have to say I don't recall ever seeing an ugly woman driving a Mercedes. There must be some somewhere, I just haven't seen them.

[Ysabel Kid]

Have you seen a picture of Janet Reno? Helen Thomas? Barbara Streisand? Hillary Clinton???

Ulgy doesn't begin to describe these "women"!

[KWK]

Now, let's be fair, YK. All the women you mention are fairly old, and age doesn't do many people much good as far as looks are concerned. Streisand looked fine in her prime. Clinton wasn't bad looking as a younger gal either, but she, like Thomas & Reno are carrying too much weight and make-up these days. I'll admit Reno isn't the prettiest gal I've seen, but I wouldn't go so far as to call her ugly. Homely I would, but that isn't the same as ugly, which I'd define as unpleasant to look upon -- well, ok, she's close to it. Some recent pictures of Thomas are a bit distressing, but I found on the web a picture of her standing with JFK, and she was far from ugly in her day. I'd go so far as to say that Clinton when younger was actually rather attractive.

[Travis Morgan]

Streisand looked like a cross between an ugly camel and an ugly horse, on her best day!

[Ysabel Kid]

Now, let's be fair, YK. All the women you mention are fairly old, and age doesn't do many people much good as far as looks are concerned. Streisand looked fine in her prime. Clinton wasn't bad looking as a younger gal either, but she, like Thomas & Reno are carrying too much weight and make-up these days. I'll admit Reno isn't the prettiest gal I've seen, but I wouldn't go so far as to call her ugly. Homely I would, but that isn't the same as ugly, which I'd define as unpleasant to look upon -- well, ok, she's close to it. Some recent pictures of Thomas are a bit distressing, but I found on the web a picture of her standing with JFK, and she was far from ugly in her day. I'd go so far as to say that Clinton when younger was actually rather attractive.

I guess I have the ability to also look at their disposition and soul, and for these women and a few more, they were "ugly of spirit" probably going back to their birth!

On the other hand, I have seen many a women who were not very physically attractive, but the beauty of their soul shone through. As you note, all people age, and years are not often kind to one's features, especially in our youth-obsessed culture. But when one has a beautiful soul, it shines through.

[KWK]

when one has a beautiful soul, it shines through

no arguments there