She said she missed me.

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JimT
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She said she missed me.

Post by JimT »

1.jpg
BUT THEN I SAW SHE WAS RELOADING!
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Griff
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by Griff »

:D :D
Griff,
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Bronco
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by Bronco »

I am finally getting a sense of what may be coming as to your posts ....humor, sometimes !

I like it :D :D and saw the possibility of what was to come !
Gettin old ain't for sissies!
There just has to be dogs in heaven !
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Blaine
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by Blaine »

So, you know her too?
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gamekeeper
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by gamekeeper »

How'd you make her so mad Jim ?...…. :lol:
If more men loved and cherished their wives as much as I love bacon the world would be a much better place.
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Ray
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They was.......

Post by Ray »

putting-up hay together the indian summer just before he was to muster with uncle lyndon's yacht club for basic training on lake michigan. She weren't no beauty by any means what with her dumpiness and moon face and frizzy doo but nature finds a way as the saying goes and they wound-up coitus in her daddy's barn loft.

When he left patona city with the promise to write every day it was 70ish in the fahrenheit. When the bus landed in waukegan it was seven below on the same scale. One thing about the weather at g.l.n.r.t.c., wait a day or two and its sure to change. Five feet of snow one day then next day its melting furiously then the next day there is a veritable skating rink where there should be none. Because of his height, the young recruit mentioned above became one of his company's crossing guards. So they were marching from class to chow and the recruit company commander called in the guards and the young man in question slipped on the ice and his career in uncle lyndon's yacht club came to a painful end.

In fullness of time he returned to patona city essentially whole but he henceforth and forever set-off metal detectors whenever he passed through same. He also returned to find a bouncing baby boy with the mum's moon face and frizzy doo. So they jumped off the dock together at the justice of the peace while the dumpy baby with the moon face and frizzy doo looked on.

It just so happened that the local police department had a billet to fill what with edgar wallace on unpaid leave for yet again dragging an incorrigible traffic malefactor through the driver door window. Edgar had the size to do it provided the perp. was not too bulky. So the young man became a patona city gendarme with the hopes of someday advancing to a state smokey bear.

The young man wasn't much of a lawman (he simply lacked the upper body strengh to drag mouthy speeders through the car door window) but oh how he could shoot. Perhaps you've heard of the legendary delph bryce. Well this fellow was in that class. The first thing he did matrimonial wise after he had spawned the fat baby with the moon face and frizzy doo a little sister was to teach his bride to shoot a sixgun. She took to it like a house fly to a banana pudding.

But then a wanton piece of fluff got in the way of his marital bliss. He was giving testimony down to the drayton county circuit court when he was warned that brenda (his beloved bride) had found out about klara (the hussy). He rushed home. Not to adamantly repent his misdemeanors and beg mercy and forgiveness, but to fetch the home .357 magnum from the cookie jar before brenda got a hold of it.

Too late ! Proponents of self-loading pistols always insist that a revolver's six shots are too few. The victim of this tale would disagree. He survived despite the .357s reputation but his dream of becoming a state smokey bear was dashed forever. He simply could not pass the physical exam with yet more internal stainless steel supports screwed into his bones. And yes, you can get by quite well without a spleen.
m.A.g.a. !
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JimT
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by JimT »

Just to clarify .. Ray WAS NOT writing about me! I have never lived or spawned in that part of the world.

PS - I still have my spleen.
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Ray
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by Ray »

JimT wrote: Thu Jun 08, 2023 9:05 am Just to clarify .. Ray WAS NOT writing about me! I have never lived or spawned in that part of the world.

PS - I still have my spleen.
Goodness, I sure hope folk don't take my tales too serious. The ones told first person give the idea that they are autobiographical but I assure you that is just the narrative voice/tense that worked best with that particular plot. My old friend euell _______, otherwise known as Pill told me most of these tales and as they are essentially true, I change or omit the names to protect the guilty. I am often censured by career peace officers for depicting corrupt or bumbling or inept badged/blue characters.......but they really were just that goofy if the town legends as related to me by Pill and "Booby Moates" were accurate.

The real "edgar wallace" was indeed want to third degree folk over minor infractions until buddy royal taught him the errors of his ways. Despite undeniably resisting arrest and aggravated assaulting wallace, the jury acquitted royal. The real town that patona city is a pseudonym for was once referred to as "little phoenix city" for its criminal toughness.
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JimT
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by JimT »

I was just poking fun, Ray! :lol: Loved the story!
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by piller »

I think we had one or two of those people out in the place I grew up. That town was sponsored by the letter H as ir was in the middle of Nowhere.
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Streetstar
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by Streetstar »

Sounds like my most recent ex. Although she’d be using a scattergun to better her odds. She is a “Set fire to the bridge before she is off it “ type, God bless her

Dating these days for a middle aged gent (I’m 51) is no fun - probably even less so for the gals. However we all (mostly) still seem to be motivated by the need for companionship so it is what it is
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Bronco
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by Bronco »

I enjoyed the tale from Ray. Also the ones from Jim.

:arrow: More please
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RIHMFIRE
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Re: She said she missed me.

Post by RIHMFIRE »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
LETS GO SHOOT'N BOYS
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