Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut from 72 to only 45. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings, and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members, and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is very unfair."
Speaking from his lean-to in the West Midlands town of Tipton , where he currently resides, an Al Qaeda chief executive explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting wages, but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my members that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle , Middlesbrough, Essex, Glasgow, Shell harbour Australia and British Columbia stated that they would be unaffected, as there are no virgins in these areas anyway.
Apparently, the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are no longer so keen on going to paradise.
British Al Qaeda About To Go On Strike....
Forum rules
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
British Al Qaeda About To Go On Strike....
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Re: British Al Qaeda About To Go On Strike....
This is the group of virgins our Lord will have waiting for them
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eG4EPxb1kAQ/T ... h_guns.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eG4EPxb1kAQ/T ... h_guns.jpg
Re: British Al Qaeda About To Go On Strike....
There's a company making prayer rugs with land mines built into them. They say the prophets are going thru the roof.
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
-
- Levergunner 3.0
- Posts: 806
- Joined: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:10 pm
- Location: Simpsonville,SC
Re: British Al Qaeda About To Go On Strike....
Ha! Wait till they find out that the virgins aren't female. Then they will really explode.
Stan in SC
Stan in SC
The more I listen,the more I hear....and vice versa.
45-70,it's almost a religion
45-70,it's almost a religion
- gamekeeper
- Spambot Zapper
- Posts: 17487
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:32 pm
- Location: Over the pond unfortunately.
Re: British Al Qaeda About To Go On Strike....
Whatever you do always give 100%........... unless you are donating blood.
- Ysabel Kid
- Moderator
- Posts: 27918
- Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:10 pm
- Location: South Carolina, USA
- Contact:
- ollogger
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 2808
- Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 2:47 pm
- Location: Wheatland Wyoming
- Contact:
Re: British Al Qaeda About To Go On Strike....
Blaine
I was having coffee & blue berry pie while reading your post, I was doing
good until I got to the punch line, nuff said!!!!
Brad
I was having coffee & blue berry pie while reading your post, I was doing
good until I got to the punch line, nuff said!!!!
Brad
-
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 4429
- Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:33 pm
- Location: Wyoming and Arizona
Re: British Al Qaeda About To Go On Strike....
May all their virgins be camels.