Final goodbyes when we leave this earth.

Post by **Old Savage** » Wed Mar 07, 2012 8:47 pm

Wow, reading all this - shouldn't say this so I won't.

Carlsen Highway · Post by **Carlsen Highway** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:32 am

I have explained to the wife that when I die, I have left instructions to the effect that a parade should be organised up the main street here. Doesnt have to be much, but get the classic car crowd out, the ballons, the marching girls and some bagpipes, the local school kids can make flags and carry them up road, maybe an elephant if there is a circus handy, you know the story.

Of course that woman has never done a darn thing I ever told her yet...

People on the net and on the forum can be a community too, and if people who are on know you personally then they will spread the word anyway. If there are none that do then you probably were not that prominent member of the that forum community, and people will just think you took up your interest in stamp collecting instead.
(Perhaps that could be a euphensism for cyber-passing. Old such and such has taken up stamp collecting...)

El Chivo · Post by **El Chivo** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 5:22 am

now Joe you didn't say ashes. You said you wanted your remains buried - no one buries ashes; they are scattered. So I could only imagine this poor little woman tugging on a rope and cursing your name.

The 5 gallon buckets are a good idea. Leave her a saw and she could probably get most of the limbs in two and torso in two more, then your head on a pike.

Actually not too long ago in CA a lady was wandering disoriented down the street pushing a large garbage container - the square kind with wheels. Inside was her boyfriend, in pieces. She got in a lot of trouble because that container is supposed to be for recycled items only.

dennie · Post by **dennie** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:55 am

One of my exes told many of my friends that if they attended my funeral they would be required to take a drug test. For this test to be reliable the urine must be deposited directly on my grave.

I am sure some of them would do this if it wasn't required!

dennie

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:30 am

She really loved you Huh?

Charles · Post by **Charles** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:11 am

In 37 years as a Pastor, I have known hundreds of folks who live with all kinds of regrets about what they said and didn't say to folks who have died.

I have learned from that and keep current in all of my relationship. I apoligize freely and express love frequently. When I die, there should be nothing left unsaid. The time to do such things is face to face while you are alive. Communication about the important things in life, should be two way, not one way.

I have done well over 300 Funeral Services and have never told a lie about anybody. Mostly I made very little mention of the deceased unless it was to share a positive personal experience I had with them. Quite often family members want to speak and at times many of them drone on and on. Frequently this took the form of purple prose, social enhancement, and in general trying to make the person bigger in death that he was in life. It took all I had to sit through much of this with a smile on my face and say.."Thank you for sharing that with us.". Other times it was well and tastefully done.

For the Christian, this type of service is not about the deceased anyway, but about Christ, his victory over death and the hope that gives us all. For the person who is not a Christian these types of services are waste of time and the higheth of hyprocrisy. A person should be remembered for what they were and believed and not for what they were not. I have no issues with the person who wants to skip these services and do whatever. We should die with the same integrity with which we lived. Honesty is what it is all about. Lies, pretense and blather never change anything, nor help anybody.

madman4570 · Post by **madman4570** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:58 am

I wonder if a wee bit of your ashes could be mixed in with gun powder for reloads???????????

That way you would be going out with a bang.
All fellow Levergunners could gather and have a ceremony for fellow members that pass shooting off at once (even Pitchy could play the trumpet)
And those that can't make just go wherever able when specified at a certain instructed time and fire one off.
Would if Hobie would store our remains to be sent out as needed?????????

Joe,
What I worry about is some day your wife has some business out of town(you croak)and she comes back and the cats have done ate you all up to the point where the amount of your ashes being mixed and only able to fill 1(10ga,3.5")round

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:02 pm

I think that would be OK with Joe
" buzzards got to eat to "

Booger Bill · Post by **Booger Bill** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:36 pm

Years ago a friend rode funneral escourt as a side job. He got a funneral where a "Gypsey King" died. He was currious how they handeled these type funnerals and slipped in the side wing to observe. All the people filed by the casket and dropped money and pieces of jewlery on the stiff. The widow sat there crying. Then awhile latter he went back to the director to see if the funneral was done yet and seen the widow requesting for the undertaker to step out so she could have a private moment with her husband before he closed the casket. He stepped where she couldnt see him watching. The undertaker stepped out, she walked over to the casket, picked up all the loot and spit on him!
A undertaker called a widow up and requested her to come down and view the dead husband before they had the public viewing. She looked him over and complimented the undertaker on his work but complained that walter never wore a loud suit like that, could they put him in something more conservative? The undertaker assured her they would, and if she would just wait in his office for a little while, they would make the adjustments nessasary. She sat there and evidently the pager mike had been left open. She heard the undertaker call out, "Hey Otto. Would ya go and change heads on #1 and #3 around?"
A high liveing old black gentilman died. He requested in his will that he be buried in his roadmaster. They brought a crane out to the cemetary to lower the buick with him dressed in a fine suit and derby hat into a huge grave. He was sitting upright in it with a stoggie sewed in his mouth with a good supply of shine alongside him. A couple of his old pals sat there watching and one said to the other, "Now maaan, dats liveing!"

airedaleman · Post by **airedaleman** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:01 pm

madman4570 wrote:I wonder if a wee bit of your ashes could be mixed in with gun powder for reloads???????????

That way you would be going out with a bang.
:

One of my cousins had a portion of his ashes loaded into some shotshells. MC, during the memorial, proceeded to fire them in Mick's favorite O/U at intervals, thereby "celebrating the life of___________"

Yawn.

(I suspect the gun needed cleaning afterwards.)

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:15 pm

airedaleman wrote:
madman4570 wrote:I wonder if a wee bit of your ashes could be mixed in with gun powder for reloads???????????

That way you would be going out with a bang.
:
One of my cousins had a portion of his ashes loaded into some shotshells. MC proceeded to fire them in Mick's favorite O/U at intervals, thereby "celebrating the life of___________"

Yawn.

I can think of a few people that would deserve to be shot in the azz with my ashes in a shotshell

Post by **Old Savage** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:57 pm

You know that whole ashes thing - I don't think of them as that sacred. There are probably just Kingsford from the grill. Could be a big scam there.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:49 pm

Old Savage wrote:You know that whole ashes thing - I don't think of them as that sacred. There are probably just Kingsford from the grill. Could be a big scam there.

It's cheap, and that will mean more $$ in daughter's pocket when I go

Heck, Potter's Field is good enough after you've gone.

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 6:28 pm

Cremation is a scam. And I really believe that. You put a body in a cardboard box and stick it in an incinerator. Then you scoop out a pile of ashes, put 'em in a box not even as big as a half gallon ice cream box, hand 'em to the next of kin and charge them hundreds of dollars.
(NOTE: The above is not an exaggeration, it is my personal experience with my mothers remains. Yes ashes are remains.)
Once I got the ashes I looked at them then asked the lady: "Is this it? Is this all 73 years of life is reduced to? I couldn't believe, and still don't that the small box of ashes I got back were all that were left.
Maybe from the cardboard box, but not from a whole person.
But that was my mothers wishes and I made sure she got them.

To the deceased it really won't matter. Once their spirit has flown it won't care a bit about it's previous earthly home.

The sad thing is that cremation is still cheaper than having the body embalmed and burried.

Mescalero,
That hill you mentioned sounds good, AZ or NM?

Joe

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 6:57 pm

New Mexico Joe,
And I promise you, no one will ever bother you.
It is where I go when I need to get right with the universe, saved my posterior many times over the years.
You know what a high stress gig I had.

madman4570 · Post by **madman4570** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:10 pm

J Miller wrote:Cremation is a scam. And I really believe that. You put a body in a cardboard box and stick it in an incinerator. Then you scoop out a pile of ashes, put 'em in a box not even as big as a half gallon ice cream box, hand 'em to the next of kin and charge them hundreds of dollars.
(NOTE: The above is not an exaggeration, it is my personal experience with my mothers remains. Yes ashes are remains.)
Once I got the ashes I looked at them then asked the lady: "Is this it? Is this all 73 years of life is reduced to? I couldn't believe, and still don't that the small box of ashes I got back were all that were left.
Maybe from the cardboard box, but not from a whole person.
But that was my mothers wishes and I made sure she got them.

To the deceased it really won't matter. Once their spirit has flown it won't care a bit about it's previous earthly home.

The sad thing is that cremation is still cheaper than having the body embalmed and burried.

Mescalero,
That hill you mentioned sounds good, AZ or NM?

Joe

JMHO-------
You wanna save even more money????????
Once you die(say you died in your home, you only need the Coroner to come to your home and pronounce whoever dead.)
After that pack em up in the pickup/wagon and you take the body directly to the crematorium.

You will save $1500-$1700

Also, if you have enough land(I do)can just be buried out back in the garden! (total cost $120-$150)Coroner fee

Only thing cheaper than that is just get planted as soon as your dead by family member (and they say,heck I don't know where he/she is???????)

JMHO-----------
Check your local/state laws before planting someone!

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:29 pm

In N.M., after coroner pronouces death.
24 hours to get them in the ground, no interference.
Remember the caskets I built?

Ray Newman · Post by **Ray Newman** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:43 pm

When I hear of cremation and ash scattering, I think of a late 1990’s comedy movie -- possibly it was “The Big Labowski.” One of the characters dies and is cremated. His friends scattered the ashes, all the while not taking notice that the wind blew towards them….

Once asked a pathologist about cremation and the process. The Saw Bones said that it takes about two hours at 900 degrees plus. There is not much left after the furnace automatically shuts off. Anything that is not ash is run through the bone crusher and pulverized to a very fine texture.

The Neptune Society is about the cheapest cremation service available. A few years ago, a friend told me his father signed up and paid approx. US$300.00 for the cremation services.

rjohns94 · Post by **rjohns94** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:21 pm

I'm sure my brother will let you know if I am called home. I'Ll be watching over you guys should that happen. Blessings

Chris83716 · Post by **Chris83716** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:27 pm

This has been one of the more humorous threads lately.

Chris

Post by **Old Savage** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:02 pm

Well now how about the body farm where they study corpses that are just left out to rot. Get some Kingsford ashes and go out and scatter them yourself - scattered ashes sure aren't important - can't see that that is anything to get all emotional about. Seems like foolishness to me.

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:54 pm

Having been the recipient of one of these boxes, I can tell you it is definitly not all ash.
There are recocnizable bone parts in the mix.
From the emotional standpoint, OS is right.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, the bell tolls for you; the dead cannot hear it.

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:19 am

I never opened the box Mom's ashes came in. It was nicely packaged with her name and information on it. I left it as it was and got it burried where she wanted it.

Joe

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:45 am

It was not like I expected......at all.

gak · Post by **gak** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:34 am

When we scattered my uncle's ashes a scorched but fully intact (and presumably functional) key clunked out on the ground. Amidst an otherwise thoughtful and poignant moment, the first thing that came our minds was "secret safety security box?"

Hey, we needed to lighten the moment and that did it!

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:38 am

gak wrote:When we scattered my uncle's ashes a scorched but fully intact (and presumably functional) key clunked out on the ground. Amidst an otherwise thoughtful and poignant moment, the first thing that came our minds was "secret safety security box?" Hey, we needed to lighten the moment and that did it!

Skeleton Key?

gak · Post by **gak** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:54 am

Pieced together - Ed. correction - Richard Harris on Tonight Show:

Pat and Mike had been drinking buddies and friends for years. After having a few drinks in a bar, Mike said to Pat -"We have been friends for years and years and if I should die before you do would you do me a favor? Get the best bottle of Irish whiskey you can find and pour it over me grave."
Pat replied, "I would be glad to do that for you my old friend. But would you mind if I passed it through me kidneys first?"

Booger Bill · Post by **Booger Bill** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 12:00 pm

I had a lady friend that died and had no one but me. I took her ashs with me on a deer hunting trip to spread off a peak in the piutes . OS knows where that is. I was saying the lords prayer as I was spreading them and there was a rifle shot maybe 60 yards away. I hadnt seen any vehicles in the area, I walked around and never saw a person!

Ray Newman · Post by **Ray Newman** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 12:12 pm

Skeleton key??
--Blaine

Touche' !!....

6pt-sika · Post by **6pt-sika** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 3:24 pm

El Chivo wrote: You said you wanted your remains buried - no one buries ashes.

You're wrong there !

My fathers will states that he wishes to be creamated and then the remains of our 3 Border Terriers be exhumed creamated and put in the urn with him and he then wants the urn buried beside my mother in the cemetary .

So NEVER say never .

6pt-sika · Post by **6pt-sika** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 3:27 pm

Old Savage wrote:You know that whole ashes thing - I don't think of them as that sacred. There are probably just Kingsford from the grill. Could be a big scam there.

Funny you should mention that .

Again in my fathers will he states that he wishes to have an observer either family or friend at the creamatorium watching him being turned to ashes . Kinda morbid to my way of thinking but my father never was much for bullshite .

6pt-sika · Post by **6pt-sika** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 3:32 pm

J Miller wrote:Cremation is a scam. And I really believe that. You put a body in a cardboard box and stick it in an incinerator. Then you scoop out a pile of ashes, put 'em in a box not even as big as a half gallon ice cream box, hand 'em to the next of kin and charge them hundreds of dollars.

I dunno about IN or wherever you may be , but I have a friend that owns no less then 4 Funeral Homes and he told me typically a creamation cost a couple hundred dollars more then a decent mid price range funeral with casket etc .
He also told me typically when they creamate someone they get the aforementioned ashes and generally a piece of the spine is left . And of course he said they dispose of the spine remnants and not include it in the ashes .

Charles · Post by **Charles** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:35 pm

In my experience ashes/cremains are more often buried or placed in a columbarium than scattered.

El Chivo · Post by **El Chivo** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:57 pm

and if you really don't want to leave, will your body to a medical school where they can preserve you. Maybe your skeleton will end up standing guard in the corner of a classroom.

About the key, did he swallow it, or store it rectally?

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:33 pm

6pt-sika wrote:
J Miller wrote:Cremation is a scam. And I really believe that. You put a body in a cardboard box and stick it in an incinerator. Then you scoop out a pile of ashes, put 'em in a box not even as big as a half gallon ice cream box, hand 'em to the next of kin and charge them hundreds of dollars.

I dunno about IN or wherever you may be , but I have a friend that owns no less then 4 Funeral Homes and he told me typically a creamation cost a couple hundred dollars more then a decent mid price range funeral with casket etc .
He also told me typically when they creamate someone they get the aforementioned ashes and generally a piece of the spine is left . And of course he said they dispose of the spine remnants and not include it in the ashes .

I don't know about IN or IL either although I live in IL. My Mother died in AZ and we had her cremated there. Cost just a bit over $300.00 IIRC. Then when we got back here it cost pretty much the same thing to have her burried at the foot of her dads grave.

What embalming and burial would have cost I don't know, I never checked. I just followed her wishes.

Joe

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 7:03 pm

When I first moved back to N.M. we had two deaths in a row, I managed to save the families thousands by building the caskets and getting them in the ground in 24 hours.
RJohns I think should remember the incident.

madman4570 · Post by **madman4570** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 7:47 pm

6pt-sika wrote:
J Miller wrote:Cremation is a scam. And I really believe that. You put a body in a cardboard box and stick it in an incinerator. Then you scoop out a pile of ashes, put 'em in a box not even as big as a half gallon ice cream box, hand 'em to the next of kin and charge them hundreds of dollars.

I dunno about IN or wherever you may be , but I have a friend that owns no less then 4 Funeral Homes and he told me typically a creamation cost a couple hundred dollars more then a decent mid price range funeral with casket etc .
He also told me typically when they creamate someone they get the aforementioned ashes and generally a piece of the spine is left . And of course he said they dispose of the spine remnants and not include it in the ashes .

6pt,

The guy(funeral home owner) is pulling your leg dude (I believe).
When wife's mom passed (I talked to the Medical Examiner)about this stuff.(he said a lot we hired/could have done our self)was he issues statement of death.
I just picked a State out of the blue and check below.
Take in consideration also that actual only required tasks that have to be done by (other than you)is #6 and #7
Most Crematories offer(very modest cost)an arranged transport of deceased from where ever they passed to crematory.($100)
If its from a private home etc(you can do it)

The Urn (as long as it is considered by the Crematorium )a sealed container can be anything.(example--a plywood box with top screwed on.They will fill that box.
I will say,there are some nice marble fancy urns to be had($200)that are nice if it makes family members feel better/worth it.(but again can be a sealed wood box screwed together.

Can be done if need be for around $350-$400

Remember funeral home owners don't want people to know this cause they would suffer with their business.
And their again different places might have different laws???
But bottom line----most places the Funeral Home can be 100% left out!

JMHO (take it just as that)

Example:
http://www.michiganfuneralhome.com/cremation.htm

In fact some of you guys want to start a business ???????????
And I mean a very profitable business????????????

I have figured out an exact formula mixture that when applied with melted(recycled glass)bottles/jars/window panes what ever glass that turns the glass into a hardened substance(like granite)think what is glass actually????----Sand!

All I need is to get with someone to make a hi-temp furnace and some various sized molds.
and the headstones----all out of recycled glass??
Think how cheap you could sell headstones??????????????
Different colors/shapes/sizes and they would last(as long as stone)
With the coloring you could have a black headstone that would look like onyz.(could have a pitcure of loved one inserted in a clear one etc. You get the drift. Actually I found this special hardener formula by accident and again a section of this is actually stronger than marble.
Could sell custom headstones for $300 or $400 and the marker companies would be crying in their soup.
That is something that has been on my back burner(have already talked with Cornell University about this)

With different molds can make anything!

Old Ironsights · Post by **Old Ironsights** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 8:12 pm

Me, I'm going out like Slim Pickens.... No ashes left.

YEEE HAAAAWWW !

Post by **Old Savage** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:18 pm

Well now I am going say what I think here - can't take it anymore. Don't care about convention but going to have the body cremated - to be cheap - then - going to get all emotional and self important over where "the ashes" are going to be spread with great self importance. Now the body you have lived in all this time is of no importance BUT - THE ASHES - oh my God - they are sacred and where they are "spread". What a ton of hypocritical BS from people who aren't that way. What the F is this about?

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:23 pm

OS,
Don't hold anything back, tell us how you really feel.
P.S. I agree wholeheartedly, the pomp and ceremony is for those left behind, the departed don't know and don't care.

Old Ironsights · Post by **Old Ironsights** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:24 pm

Jeez dude, have you no respect for the ashes of the dead?

I'd figure most guys here would want to be loaded into .30 WCF cartridges and whack a deer or six...

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Post by **Old Savage** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:31 pm

No I have no respect for ashes and I think it is total nonsense - am I not being clear here? Total BS. What the hell are people thinking that ashes are what they "respect"?

Old Ironsights · Post by **Old Ironsights** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:34 pm

Old Savage wrote:No I have no respect for ashes and I think it is total nonsense - am I not being clear here? Total BS. What the hell are people thinking that ashes are what they "respect"?

Sarcasm Fred... Sarcasm.

Post by **Old Savage** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:35 pm

Of course OI, platform, friend, platform - you of all get it!

Ji in Hawaii · Post by **Ji in Hawaii** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:51 am

I told my wife when my times comes I want my ashes scattered in the Pacific Ocean outside Kailua Bay. There is a treated sewage outfall a mile offshore from the Marine Base- perfect location. I told her to just flush my ashes down the toilet and I will eventually get there with the least amount of fuss and effort.

Sixgun · Post by **Sixgun** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:19 am

I told my better half that I would like to go out like Brad Pitt in "Legends of the Fall" where he was killed by a griz and his bones just scattered-----for real.

It cost my sister and me $12,000 to bury my Dad and my Dad paid $11,000 for bury my Mother. My parents believed in the traditional burial---THATS a scam and the funeral parlors know it.

I can't see where the ones I leave behind have to sell some nice guns to put me in the ground. stupid, stupid, stupid.

I say down to the burn pit, throw me in and pile a mess of logs on top and don't even worry 'bout the ashes. ------------Sixgun

Post by **Old Savage** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:22 am

Now there you go!

Ji in Hawaii · Post by **Ji in Hawaii** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 3:23 pm

Both my parents hated all the fuss about funerals. Neither one wanted a burial or a service. They were both cremated at their request for if a recall correctly about $700.00. They did not even want fancy urns. My dad said to just dump the ashes in the stream in the backyard or anywhere else close by, didn't matter to them. From dust they came and dust they returned. I still have their ashes in a the plastic boxes they came in from the funeral home, not sure what to do with them. Back in April of 2008 on the anniversary of what would have been their 58th wedding anniversary all siblings came here for a family reunion and celebration of my parents life together which I think they would not have minded too much though they both hated attention.

My inlaws on the other hand are pretty obsessed about the whole funeral thing getting the best plot, having a extravagant service, yada yada yada, their choice. My father in law had been paying into a funeral insurance policy since 1989 and just learned that company went under, and he lost all the money that he paid into it. He'll be paying more than he expected in the end.

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:39 am

Fred,

It is not her ashes but my Mother's last wishes I respected.

My mother wanted to be cremated and have her ashes burried at the foot of her fathers grave. After she died I respected her wishes and had that done.
I never opened the box her ashes were in. No idea if they were hers or just ashes from someones fire place. Don't care.

I respected HER last wishes. That's all that counts.

If she had asked me to flush them I would have done it.

Joe