How to get out of shopping with the wife
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Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
How to get out of shopping with the wife
take boxes of condoms & tampons and randomly
put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
go to the Service Desk and insist on putting a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.
While handling guns in the hunting department at walmart,
he asked the clerk, where the antidepressants were.
Hide in a clothing rack at Victoria Secrets
and when women browsed through, yell
'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no
toilet paper in here.
put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
go to the Service Desk and insist on putting a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.
While handling guns in the hunting department at walmart,
he asked the clerk, where the antidepressants were.
Hide in a clothing rack at Victoria Secrets
and when women browsed through, yell
'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no
toilet paper in here.
LETS GO SHOOT'N BOYS
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
Jeremy
GySgt USMC Ret
To err is human, To forgive is devine, Neither of which is Marine Corps policy
Semper Fidelis
GySgt USMC Ret
To err is human, To forgive is devine, Neither of which is Marine Corps policy
Semper Fidelis
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
Mess your pants, works every time.
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
Grab a gun and run to the woods, thats whats I does,,,,
Nath.
Nath.
Psalm ch8.
Because I wish I could!
Because I wish I could!
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
Say "No."
Government office attracts the power-mad, yet it's people who just want to be left alone to live life on their own terms who are considered dangerous.
History teaches that it's a small window in which people can fight back before it is too dangerous to fight back.
History teaches that it's a small window in which people can fight back before it is too dangerous to fight back.
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- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 6747
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2009 9:30 am
- Location: Lower Central NYS
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
What I used to do a couple times was grab and hold on my wifes belt loop while acting mentally challanged.As she gets embarrassed and starts prying/pushing my hand away I then started crying loudly and shuffling quickly right on her heels still holding on.
Last time I did this was at Walmart and an old lady walked up and gave my wife a very dirty look. She then reached in her cart and pulled out a order of french fries (she must have bought at the small McDs there.
I was so embarrassed at that point I said in a challenged sort of way---"tank ooh" and shoved the whole handful in my mouth.She smiled and kissed my cheek and that was the last time I ever did that
I felt like a idiot(not really thinking about the whole picture) Dumb move!
So much so I now volunteer some of my time teaching challenged people how to play basketball at a summer camp 1 week every August.Really it amazes me how honest and how hard they try!
- kimwcook
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 7978
- Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:01 pm
- Location: Soap Lake, WA., U.S.A.
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
I'm with Wiedner, just say "No". It works some times.
Old Law Dawg
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
I really don't mind going to the mall in Ft. Wayne. I tell the wife go do her thing and I will be at the water fountain in front of J.C. Penny with a frozen coke at big salty soft pretzel, or at Barnes & Noble with nice book and cold tea.
UNITE
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- Levergunner 2.0
- Posts: 428
- Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 9:49 pm
- Location: ISLIP newyork
- Contact:
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
just put your mirrored shoes on and walk next to her with a big smile she will tell you to stay home
PARENTS DON'T TAKE PICTURES OF THEIR KIDS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES
====================================================================
For Those Who Understand No Explanation Is Needed
For Those Who Don't None Will Do
====================================================================
Member Of The N.R.A.-North American Hunting club-Syosset Gun Club
====================================================================
For Those Who Understand No Explanation Is Needed
For Those Who Don't None Will Do
====================================================================
Member Of The N.R.A.-North American Hunting club-Syosset Gun Club
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
I got lucky, my wife would rather shop the gardening section of Home Depot than any mall. If I can keep her out of bookstores, then I don't have to worry about her spending much.
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
wouldn't flatulence work?
- El Chivo
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 3612
- Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:12 pm
- Location: Red River Gorge Area
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
tell her "Ok, but first we have to stop at Cabela's"
"I'll tell you what living is. You get up when you feel like it. You fry yourself some eggs. You see what kind of a day it is."
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
3 magic words "I am broke"
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- Levergunner 2.0
- Posts: 349
- Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:28 pm
- Location: Stockton, CA.
Re: How to get out of shopping with the wife
Just take your wife to Victoria's Secret, walk up to the salesperson with a thong and ask if they have one in your size to try on. Your wife will never make you shop with her again. Ask me how I know.