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We both pull over to the side of the road and I get out of my car to check the damage. Slowly, the other driver gets out of his car and I could NOT believe it...the guy was a DWARF! An honest-to-God midget!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
So, I look down at him and say, "Well then, which one are you?"
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
I just reread that issue this morning waiting on a customer to show up.
Eddie was sitting in church tears streaming down his face. His wife came over and asked why he was crying as this should be a joyous occasion being as it was their 50th wedding anniversary. Eddie looked at her and asked "Do you remember when your Dad came home early and caught us in the barn and he gave me two choices, either marry you or go to jail?". And Edith said "yeah what of it?". Eddie said "I'd be getting out today".......
I had a friend that came home from church last Sunday with two black eyes. I asked him what happened? He said they all stood up to sing the first song and there was this big fat woman standing in front of him. He looked at her and her dress was shoved up in her crack so he reached up and pulled it out for her. She hauled off and slugged him. After he got up he thought it over and figured that she must have wanted it there so he reached up and put it back. That's when she slugged him again. After he got up he said he just left.
Rusty <><
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Fred and Ethel are sitting on the sofa after all the guests have left their 25th wedding anniversary party quietly reflecting on their lives. Suddenly, Ethel leans over and slugs Fred on the shoulder and says "That's for 25 years of bad sex".
Fred is shocked! After a moment he leans over and slugs her on the shoulder and says "That's for knowing the difference!"
Last months issue of Ironhorse magazine. NOW before you guys start up. It was a handmedown from a coworker. Although I do own a ironhorse. They are cheaper than the real thing.
