The flight of the honeybees.....

Welcome to the Leverguns.Com Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here ... politely.

Moderators: AmBraCol, Hobie

Forum rules
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.

Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Post Reply
User avatar
Ray
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 2824
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:45 am

The flight of the honeybees.....

Post by Ray »

The right honorable Edgar Parker, three-term mayor of patona city finally retired to till his truck patch and tend his bee hives. At 80 some odd years he would have ran for office again (and probably won) but those confounded term-limiting ordinances interfered.

In clement weather he could always be found outdoors but of a tempestuous day he would pack a thumb-spraining bowl of shag and puff away the hours indoors, coating his tongue with tar, listening the the police and public works traffic on his radio scanner. It was on such a day that he heard, over the airways, that james dudley and sleepy jackson of truck number twelve had found a wild bee hive in a water meter box out on redball road. Dudley continued, requesting that booby moates and pugsy vanderhoot fetch a sprayer full of diesel to the site for the purpose of exterminating said apians.

On hearing this, the right honorable edgar parker sprang into action. First thing, he phoned to roscoe scroggins over to the city barn to belay that last request re. the diesel fuel and to have dudley and sleepy leave the hive unmolested and to continue on with their meter reading duties. Despite the lowerly atmosphere and fact that the bees might still be riled from the human intrusion, mayor parker decided to drive out for a quick look-see. Cautiously peeking under the meter box lid, what he saw was promising. They were wild, black bees but possibly he could move the majority of the hive intact with the queen back to his urban back-lot apiary.

So on a nicer day a mob from public works met mayor parker at the meter box hive. The (former) mayor donned the full and proper, complete bee-keeping protective costume and an unprotected james dudley manned the pine-straw fueled smoke puffer. The smoke puffer was recharged with pine needles as needed by an equally unprotected and quite nervous and bug-eyed razor huey.

The bee wrangler had just about secured enough of the comb necessary and the way the bees were crawling all over it he was rather certain that their queen was being protected beneath when the smoke he was depending on for its soporfic qualities to keep the swarm civil suddenly abated. He looked about in time to see dudley and razor hoofing it in the direction of the alexander cutoff with about half the hive of angry bees giving chase. The bee wrangler sealed-up what he could of the hive in the box that he had brought for that purpose and fetched it back to town. A sufficient spritz of diesel spray was applied to the remnants of the hive in the meter box by a murderous booby and pugsy.

Back at the city barn roscoe scroggins debriefed the much stung and swollen dudley and razor. When queried exactly why they had abandoned their post at such a critical time, dudley went to swearing profusely in biologically and scientifically precise terms but razor calmly answered,.....

"When them creepers wents to crawling down under my collar I'se just couldn't seem to keeps my feets still ! Try as I might to stands my's ground, them trotters just wouldn't obey !"
m.A.g.a. !
octagon
Senior Levergunner
Posts: 1902
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:56 pm
Location: TEXAS

Re: The flight of the honeybees.....

Post by octagon »

Ray, I like this alot. I've been a voracious reader for 50+ years, being particularly fond of classic literature, American and Texas history, fiction, good westerns, etc. I rotate through these subjects, often 2,3, or 4 books at once. I find this effort to be extremely well written, thoughtful, and vividly descriptive...not just good, but excellent! Well done, and consider me well entertained.
User avatar
Ray
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 2824
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:45 am

Re: The flight of the honeybees.....

Post by Ray »

octagon wrote: Fri Oct 22, 2021 6:14 am Ray, I like this alot. I've been a voracious reader for 50+ years, being particularly fond of classic literature, American and Texas history, fiction, good westerns, etc. I rotate through these subjects, often 2,3, or 4 books at once. I find this effort to be extremely well written, thoughtful, and vividly descriptive...not just good, but excellent! Well done, and consider me well entertained.
Thanks for the encouragement. I went to work for the sewer dept. the summer I turned 14. Mayor Parker was campaigning for his third term election the following november. His truck patch and apiaries were on a series of vacant lots in the industrial area where the city barn was located so we saw a lot of him.

One day he was at the barn washing his hands (he liked our soap) when an elderly lady constituent came by with a utility service complaint of some sort. Mayor Parker handed her a campaign card and gave a little stump speech. The lady shook her head and adamantly commented that she was voting for brother garland instead because he could pray such an inspiring prayer down to the first methodist.

Mayor Parker reddened from his shirt collar to the roots of what little hair he had left and muttered.......... "I can pray as good a ***-****(he used the HOLY NAME in vain) prayer as brother garland any day of the week !"
m.A.g.a. !
User avatar
AmBraCol
Webservant
Posts: 3651
Joined: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:12 am
Location: The Center of God's Grace
Contact:

Re: The flight of the honeybees.....

Post by AmBraCol »

In 1957 an ill trained bee keeper removed the excluder grates from some experimental hives in southern Brazil. This allowed the escape of a number of African queen bees and gave a start to an impressive migration/colonization of south America by hybridized European/African honey bees. As they moved north tales of painful death accompanied them as people and animals stumbled onto their colonies, arousing their ire by the intrusion and releasing pheromones by the obvious reaction of smashing the attacking insects, the release of which would further infuriate the hive. One fellow we knew was known as "Russo" (Russian) by the locals (not Russian nor communist, just "blessed" with the name Russel and that's all the locals could do with it) and he stumbled on such a hive. He was saved from extermination by the fact that he was a smoker and had the means of setting fire - which he did. After getting the blaze going he stood in the midst of it and the smoke kept the avenging hordes at bay. Once he escaped the vicinity and made it home, his wife stopped counting after a couple hundred stingers were removed from his person. He was one of the fortunate ones.

One day my cousin and I were standing on the cliff that dropped off in front of their house and observed a beautiful wasps' nest hanging in a tree. We came up with the brilliant idea of going down with a poison pump, exterminating the residents of said nest and carrying the lovely artifact home to grace the residence with an example of the natural beauty of God's designed artisans. The problem was, a few days prior a crew had been through there "roçando" (cutting down the dense second growth in the area) and so the route to the tree was circuitous and studded with thorns, sharp stumps and other obstacles. But at last we reached the target and I commenced to shaking the branch while he worked the poison pump like a man possessed. And nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Normally one would be greeted by a host of swarming wasps exiting the nest to avenge themselves on the intrusion. If they had done so they'd have been greeted by a cloud of oily insect spray and fallen to the ground vanquished. But nothing came out. Upon further examination we saw that one side of the nest was bashed in (probably by some worker who'd been stung while clearing the area) and the wasps had long since sought greener pastures and another place to build a home.

Being typical kids we figured "Why go the long, thorny route home when we can just climb the 30 foot cliff and get home that much quicker?" So up went my cousin and I was right behind him, followed by a neighbor kid that had tagged along for the adventure. My cousin tossed the pump over the edge of the cliff and pulled himself up preparing to throw his leg over the top and finish his climb when he yelled "Jump!" So I did. No time to ask "What's going on?", we knew each other well enough to know when to act without inquiry. We three landed next to each other at the base of the sandstone cliff and a horde of hybridized bees descended upon us. At first they were merely reconnoitering, trying to figure out if there was more danger than that foreign object (the poison pump) that had landed in the middle of their swarm. As no pheromones had been released at the base of the cliff we were at first unscathed. BUT someone didn't manage to control themselves and slapped an irritating intruder - and it seemed like immediately the tone of the thousands of wings around us switched from "slow scout" to "Attack Speed!".

Off three youngsters scooted, ignoring thorns, spines and sharpened stumps of bushes. T-shirts were whirling like helicopter blades around our heads as we ran and finally we distanced the avenging mob. But along the way one of my flipflops (the universal foot gear in our area, except for thick, callused foot soles which sufficed for those unable to afford the luxury) had stayed somewhere behind. After waiting sufficient time for the excitement to die down we meandered back and found the missing footwear then made our way back to my uncle's place where we spent the rest of the day tormenting the neighbor boy who'd accompanied us by occasionally inserting a grass stem into his wiry hair, simulating an invading bee, and watching him go nuts swatting at it in fear of a return of our tormentors.

A couple decades later I suited up to help a family friend attend to one of his hives. Although we were at the opposite end of the continent from the release point of the African queens, over the intervening decades they had reached the area - and kept on going although they left colonies strewn along the way. The hives we were going to work were obviously of the hotblooded African hybrid type as we suited up probably 200 feet or more from the hives, but almost immediately came under attack shortly after leaving the vehicle. Memories of that long ago "flight FROM the honeybees" crowded into my mind and made it VERY difficult to do my part in assisting our friend.

So I can definitely sympathize with Razor.
Paul - in Pereira


"He is the best friend of American liberty who is most sincere and active in promoting true and undefiled religion." -- John Witherspoon

http://www.paulmoreland.com
http://www.pistolpackingpreachers.us
http://www.precisionandina.com
octagon
Senior Levergunner
Posts: 1902
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:56 pm
Location: TEXAS

Re: The flight of the honeybees.....

Post by octagon »

Ray this am i was thinking your style reminded me of something else I read ages ago, but I often these days cannot put my finger on older reminiscences. It came to me later that I was thinking of E.L. Doctorow's "Ragtime" from 1975, a great American novel, of which I bet you are aware of.
I would hope a guy with your skill might turn these talents into some greenbacks.
Post Reply