So far off topic...

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Ysabel Kid
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So far off topic...

Post by Ysabel Kid »

... its in another universe...

But, I'm always amazed at the hidden expertise here on the forum, so I figure I'd ask. I'm looking for any morticians, cemetery managers, or anyone who may have experienced the same issue...

Here's the setup. My Dad passed away 41 years ago. It was a total shock, and the arrangements were made during the intense grief by my Mom, as none of us kids were old enough to help. She did not think to purchase a plot beside him.

Fast forward, my Mom is in her 80's and asked today about preplanning her funeral. She then asked about being buried beside her first husband, my Dad (her second husband was a widower when they married later in life, and when he passed away he was buried next to his first wife). Unfortunately, my Dad's grave is surrounded by other graves, so I know there is no space for a casket.

So, does anyone know if it would be legal if she was cremated to have the ashes interned next to my Dad?

Of course, I could always just spread her ashes on my Dad's grave when the day comes. But I'd like to have the headstone redone to include them both.

Thanks fellas...
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bmtshooter
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by bmtshooter »

I know that it can be done, but a lot may depend on the particular cemetery and exactly how the casket was buried in the plot. Cremains do not generally have to be buried nearly as deep as a casket, so there may be some leeway there. You would need to contact the director of the particular cemetery with that question, but it certainly is not out of the realm of possibility. Best of luck with getting this sorted out. It is good to be planning things out ahead of time.
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CowboyTutt
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by CowboyTutt »

Hi Ysabel, I don't have any expertise in this matter at all, just wanted to reach out and say I'm sorry for what you are going through. If you want to talk, just PM me and will give you my cell. -Tutt
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KWK
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by KWK »

As was said, check with the cemetery. My grandfather could be squeezed into his family’s plot only if cremated. His space next to his wife had been mistakenly sold a second time before he died, and that his remains couldn’t be put next to her suggests her cemetery wouldn’t allow it. My mom has already gotten permission to be placed next to her brothers and parents, but there is only space for cremation remains.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by gamekeeper »

I know nothing of American burial laws but when my Mother in Law died her coffin was placed on top of her husbands coffin who had died several years before..
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by stretch »

My grandmother was buried atop her husband, who passed away almost 50 year earlier.
This was in New Jersey.

I'm thinking that you'd need to talk to the cemetery curators, (or whatever they're called!) and see how you might be able to proceed.

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Re: So far off topic...

Post by jeepnik »

Quite common here to bury one on top of another. I believe the first is buried several feet below where the second will be.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by JimT »

I hope you get it worked out.

For myself, I have long desired my ashes to be thrown in the face of Congress.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by Scott Tschirhart »

JimT wrote:
Mon Oct 11, 2021 9:07 am
I hope you get it worked out.

For myself, I have long desired my ashes to be thrown in the face of Congress.
If all goes right, they will never find my body.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by Old No7 »

CowboyTutt wrote:
Sun Oct 10, 2021 9:35 pm
Hi Ysabel, I don't have any expertise in this matter at all, just wanted to reach out and say I'm sorry for what you are going through.
Same for me Jay -- no experience with this, but I'd imaging something reasonable can be done. Sorry to hear you're dealing with all this.

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Re: So far off topic...

Post by Bill in Oregon »

Mom was buried first at Eagle Point National Veterans Cemetery, and Dad was buried above her, with his info on the front of the marble marker and Mom's on the back. Could ask a local VA cemetery what their protocol is, but a vault might well be required.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by jnyork »

I was faced with the same problem, my Dad died in 1960 and my Mom in 1998. She was cremated and the urn was buried in the same space as my Dad, cemetery boss had no problem with it at all. Go check with them.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by Ysabel Kid »

Thanks fellas. I will reach out to the cemetery to see what the protocol might be. Good to know there are potential options out there.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by AJMD429 »

Wonder if they could put her ashes in his coffin...? Maybe if both had written down that wish.
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horsesoldier03
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by horsesoldier03 »

I know in the military cemeteries, the spouse of the service member is buried either below or on top based on who passed first. I would ask the cemetery where your dad is at if this might be possible. You might have to go with a slightly smaller headstone.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by gcs »

Here, they can be stacked one over another, and cremains are allowed even if the allotted casket spaces are full, just a quick post hole and done... but check to confirm.
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Ray
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by Ray »

Ashes are usually interred surreptitiously to an existing plot which precludes appending the stone/marker.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by Rusty »

In the V.A. cemetery they generally ask you if you want to be buried with your spouse. If you do you'll have the one that passes first buried down deeper and the second one on top. All that would depend on the cemetery policy as to what they will let you do.
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by rossim92 »

JimT wrote:
Mon Oct 11, 2021 9:07 am
I hope you get it worked out.

For myself, I have long desired my ashes to be thrown in the face of Congress.
or, sprinkled on pelosi's oatmeal! :o
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by Ysabel Kid »

rossim92 wrote:
Tue Oct 19, 2021 4:40 am
JimT wrote:
Mon Oct 11, 2021 9:07 am
I hope you get it worked out.

For myself, I have long desired my ashes to be thrown in the face of Congress.
or, sprinkled on pelosi's oatmeal! :o
:lol: :lol: :lol: for both!
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Re: So far off topic...

Post by Larkbill »

Ysabel Kid wrote:
Thu Oct 21, 2021 7:57 pm
rossim92 wrote:
Tue Oct 19, 2021 4:40 am
JimT wrote:
Mon Oct 11, 2021 9:07 am
I hope you get it worked out.

For myself, I have long desired my ashes to be thrown in the face of Congress.
or, sprinkled on pelosi's oatmeal! :o
:lol: :lol: :lol: for both!
You guys are sick.

And hilarious. I'm convinced they have no idea how many Americans hold them in such low regard.
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