Musical Instrument and musician jokes ..
Bagpipes
I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.
Alfred Hitchcock
...............
Tuba
How do you fix a broke tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What do you call an arrogant tuba player?
A brasshole.
What's the difference between God and a tuba player?
God doesn't think he's a tuba player.
...............
Ukulele
What do a ukulele and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
What is the difference between a ukulele player and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.
What is perfect pitch with a ukulele?
When .. from across the room .. you can toss it in the trash without hitting the rim.
...............
Banjo
What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player?
A tattoo.
What's the difference between a banjo and an AK-47?
The AK only repeats thirty times.
...............
Accordion
What is the range of an accordion?
About 20 yards if you have a good arm.
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the accordion but doesn't.
What is the difference between an accordion and a chainsaw?
The chainsaw can be tuned.
...............
Drums
For my next trick, I intend to eat a
percussion instrument in a sandwich.
Drum roll please...
My wife rotates playing her drum, guitar or flute once a month.
It's part of her minstrel cycle.
Did you know that Al Gore was booted as the drummer from his high school band and replaced with a drum machine?
It turns out they preferred a digital beat over an Al Gore rhythm…
...............
Guitar
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied, “Is that a fret?”
Why are so many guitar players jokes one-liners? So the rest of the band can understand them.
What’s the difference between an extra-large pizza and a guitar player? The pizza will feed a family of four.
...............
Flute
Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Who was that flute I saw you with last night?” The other replies, “That was no flute, that was my fife.”
Q: Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?
A: To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.
Flutist: Did you hear my last recital?
Friend: I hope so.
...............
What's angry, fluffy and destructive and gathers inside stringed instruments?
Violint
Why did the police arrest the musician who homemade his instruments?
Domestic violins!
What was the skeleton’s favorite instrument? Trombone.
Why do bagpipers walk while playing? To get away from the noise.
To Start Off 2020 ...
Forum rules
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Re: To Start Off 2020 ...
The most musical insect??
Potato Bug
It's plays on the tuber....
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
- Griff
- Posting leader...
- Posts: 20864
- Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 4:56 pm
- Location: OH MY GAWD they installed a STOP light!!!
Re: To Start Off 2020 ...
I suppose those were funny 2 years ago.... But over time, they've lost their tune!
Griff,
SASS/CMSA #93
NRA Patron
GUSA #93
There is a fine line between hobby & obsession!
AND... I'm over it!!
No I ain't ready, but let's do it anyway!
SASS/CMSA #93
NRA Patron
GUSA #93
There is a fine line between hobby & obsession!
AND... I'm over it!!
No I ain't ready, but let's do it anyway!
Re: To Start Off 2020 ...
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
- AJMD429
- Posting leader...
- Posts: 32215
- Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2007 10:03 am
- Location: Hoosierland
- Contact:
Re: To Start Off 2020 ...
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Doctors for Sensible Gun Laws
"first do no harm" - gun control LAWS lead to far more deaths than 'easy access' ever could.
Want REAL change? . . . . . "Boortz/Nugent in 2012 . . . ! "
"first do no harm" - gun control LAWS lead to far more deaths than 'easy access' ever could.
Want REAL change? . . . . . "Boortz/Nugent in 2012 . . . ! "
- 2ndovc
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 9352
- Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:59 am
- Location: OH, South Shore of Lake Erie
Re: To Start Off 2020 ...
Bumper sticker I saw on a VW Micro Bus years ago: Play the Accordion, Got to Jail!!
jb
jb
jasonB " Another Dirty Yankee"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
-
- Senior Levergunner
- Posts: 1429
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 2:42 am
- Location: mechanicsville, md.
Re: To Start Off 2020 ...
trying going to a rodeo , creep on stall where a bull is pinnedd in with rider on top and place a burning cigarette on that spot on the bull and then run. If the bull doesn't get you, the rider just might.
Rossi 92 .357 lever , and a cz pcr 9mm
Henry .22 lever, Remington speedmaster 552 .22 lr
Marlin Glenfield .22 boltaction
gforce 12ga semi
Taylor's Tactical 1911 A1 FS in .45acp
winchester 1873 44.40
Marlin 336W .30.30
beeman sportsman rs2 dual caliber pellet rifle
henry .22 magnum pumpaction/octagon barrel
stag 5.56 m4 with reddot
Henry .22 lever, Remington speedmaster 552 .22 lr
Marlin Glenfield .22 boltaction
gforce 12ga semi
Taylor's Tactical 1911 A1 FS in .45acp
winchester 1873 44.40
Marlin 336W .30.30
beeman sportsman rs2 dual caliber pellet rifle
henry .22 magnum pumpaction/octagon barrel
stag 5.56 m4 with reddot