Humor: 86er's New African Caliber

[CowboyTutt]

Guys, this is satire. Hope no one takes offense!

It has come to my attention that 86er is looking for a new African Safari caliber that is not a levergun. Ever in the interest of wanting to help out a friend I have some thoughts on the subject. 86er, while I know you are currently considering the 458 Win Mag, the calibers that start with the numero 4 have become so PASSE! Even the "mighty" 460 Weatherby is like vanilla ice cream with sprinkles on it: same old bland flavor tarted up with toppings to make it sound new and tasty again. Lets face it man, the 460 is scarcely more capable than the 30-30! Not the modern 30-30 mind you, but the "original" one that shot flat out to 300 yards (then climbed a bit) and hit like Griff's speeding Mack Truck! The one that has killed every game animal on Earth! You know, the one that came chambered in those REAL leverguns that were pre-64, pre-safety, no rebounding hammers with receivers made of steel in Belgium! You need something that's worthy of you, man! Something that MIGHT even make you smile in a photograph for once! I propose the 577 T-Rex. Now, THAT'S a cartridge! A 750 grain bullet at 2450 fps. Don't worry, I have already contacted Mike at Grizzly cartridge and he is working on a 1500 grain hard-cast lead bullet at 650 fps for MAXIMUM PENETRATION! You could still put grass in his mouth after the shot (but probably with your LEFT arm as your right will probably be numb). We could even have the stock made of Zebra wood to suit your favorite plains game, and throw in a set of Giraffe-skin camp slippers and matching safari sling for those midnight excursions to the outhouse! Make no mistake, 86er, when we go hunting I got your back! (way back!). We can "ride the river together" Buddy! (just in different boats!).

Anyhow, here are some links to your new rifle. Don't forget to turn up the volume!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EVqT3XE ... re=related

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA2137uZ ... re=related

Look forward to hunting with you some day!

-Tutt

[awp101]

Ah yes, the .577 T-Rex...

Think he might even find a .577-450 MH over there to fire it from?

[C. Cash]

[Jaguarundi]

...A you need is Prof's Peabody's wayback machine....Oh my Jurassic here we come. !

[Rusty]

I always thought most PH's used a .375 except when they need a stopping rifel then it was something like a .470 Nitro. I'd think a .375 would take anything on the planet. It does with regularity.

[Ram Hammer]

Carry one of those and no one will call you a pansy!

[Ysabel Kid]

Shoot one of those and no one will call you a pansy.

[86er]

Thanks Tutt: I was obviously mislead thinking a 458 would do anything for me. I now realize the bullet MUST weigh a minimum of 1000 grains for condideration. The long range trajectory has to cover 500 yards without more than 3" deviation at any range in between. When we get the .850CT86 made, you get the right side of the gun, I'll get the left and nothing will stand in our way!

[Noah Zark]

. . . he is working on a 1500 grain hard-cast lead bullet at 650 fps for MAXIMUM PENETRATION!

That's a wuss load.

Tell him to work up a load using projectiles made from depleted uranium.

Noah

[RKrodle]

86er we may need to add more dirt to the back stop .

[1886]

If some dummy drops my rifle he is getting smacked. 1886.

[Jaguarundi]

Shoot one of those and no one will call you a pansy.

True but they may call you something else.. !

[piller]

Minimum of 1,000 grains, are you kidding. Joe would not even notice that going off. How about something based on the 20mm Vulcan round. That oughta take anything on 4 legs, and cripple whoever shoots it. You would only need 1 solid hit from it and hopefully you would find something left to mount. Joe, that .577 T-Rex ought to be just about right for you. It would be small enough for rabbits and squirrels, too.