Important Notice For All Older & Working Board Members

[Pete44ru]

.

To Whom It May Concern:

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers, 50 years of age & above, on early, mandatory retirement - thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as R.A.P.E. (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be R.A.P.E.D. can apply to Congress to be considered for the S.H.A.F.T. program.
(Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been R.A.P.E.D. and S.H.A.F.T.E.D. will be automatically reviewed under the S.C.R.E.W. program.
(System Covering Retired - Early Workers).

A person may be R.A.P.E.D once, S.H.A.F.T.E.D. twice and S.C.R.E.W.E.D. as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been R.A.P.E.D. could also qualify for:

1) A.I.D.S. (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse)

or

2) H.E.R.P.E.S. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

[Obviously persons who have A.I.D.S .or H.E.R.P.E.S. will not be S.H.A.F.T.E.D. or S.C.R.E.W.E..D any further by Congress.]

Persons who are not R.A.P.E.D., but are staying on, will receive as much S.H.I.T. (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of S.H.I.T. they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough S.H.I.T., please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the S.H.I.T.you can handle.



Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L)



PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.


.

[Canuck Bob]

A good laugh warmed me up!!!

[geobru]

[Ysabel Kid]

[gamekeeper]

[Old Time Hunter]

Darn, if it does not ring with some truth in it!