Some funny lines!

[RIHMFIRE]

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
something well.

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword will probably get shot by those who don't.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.....We do this real well in Florida....

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

The shin bone and your big toe is a devices for finding furniture in the dark.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

[AJMD429]

(I didn't want to be the one who "laughs last..."

[gamekeeper]

Nor me

[Pitchy]

[Ysabel Kid]

[El Chivo]

Cole's Law:

"If anything can go wrong involving cabbage and mayonnaise, it will."

[stew71]

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

If at first you don't succeed, well, so much for skydiving.

I'll never go hungry as long as supermarkets have plate glass windows.

Remember, it's not adventure until things stop going as planned.

[Mike Hunter]

Politician Poly Meaning many, tician derived from the French word tete meaning Head or Faces

Politician = Two Faced Person...I kid you not

[new pig hunter]

2-10-5, the old rockwell int'l retirement plan:
"if 2 people p*ss me off before 10 I'll be outta here by 5"

Cheers,

Carl

[piller]

Brunettes laugh once, they get it the first time. Redheads laugh three times. The first time out of politeness, and later when it is explained, and a third time when they get it. Blondes laugh twice. They never get it.

[Nate C.]

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy."

[rusty gunns]

Life is sexually transmitted.

[mklwhite]

Life is sexually transmitted.

...and has a 100% fatality rate!

[AJMD429]

Life is sexually transmitted . . . // . . . and has a 100% fatality rate!