The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy
HUMOR - Modern Security Alert Definitions
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Bullard4075
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HUMOR - Modern Security Alert Definitions
"A large bureaucracy, once established, turns away from whatever task it is supposed to do and instead works mainly at administering itself. Max Weber
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gamekeeper
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awp101
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Re: HUMOR - Modern Security Alert Definitions
Q: How many gears does an Italian tank have?Bullard4075 wrote:It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
A: 15. 1 forward and 14 reverse...
If these walls could talk, I'd listen to the floor.
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Jaguarundi
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Ysabel Kid
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Jaguarundi
- Senior Levergunner
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Re: HUMOR - Modern Security Alert Definitions
1 forward gear is in case they are attacked from a rearward position.awp101 wrote:Q: How many gears does an Italian tank have?Bullard4075 wrote:It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
A: 15. 1 forward and 14 reverse...
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not."
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gamekeeper
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Re: HUMOR - Modern Security Alert Definitions
Bloody Nuisance is right! yesterday a "converted" Muslim tried to blow up a restaurant in Exeter and only succeeded (thank God) in blowing his face off! The restaurant had to be closed as he had planted two bombs there.Bullard4075 wrote:. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
No Fish & Chips is a bloody Nuisance!
Whatever you do always give 100%........... unless you are donating blood.
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Ysabel Kid
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Re: HUMOR - Modern Security Alert Definitions
GK - If he didn't manage to off himself, now your socialized medicine system will have to pay for his recovery!game keeper wrote:Bloody Nuisance is right! yesterday a "converted" Muslim tried to blow up a restaurant in Exeter and only succeeded (thank God) in blowing his face off! The restaurant had to be closed as he had planted two bombs there.Bullard4075 wrote:. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
No Fish & Chips is a bloody Nuisance!
What is the penalty in England for attempted murder/terrorist attack? A slap on the wrist and no tea for a week?
