HUMOR: Political Correctness

TedH · Post by **TedH** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:59 pm

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ..

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.'

She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'

She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'

He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.'

He does not act like a 'TOTAL ***' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE"

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:52 pm

She does not have "great hooters" - her "cups runneth over"!

Jarhead · Post by **Jarhead** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:59 pm

Ysabel Kid wrote:She does not have "great hooters" - her "cups runneth over"!

mescalero1 · Post by **mescalero1** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:04 pm

I like cups that " runneth over "

Joe Reilly · Post by **Joe Reilly** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:12 am

Size matters.

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:59 am

mescalero1 wrote:I like cups that " runneth over "

Yep, my favorite kind!

ohwin94_61 · Post by **ohwin94_61** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:07 am

Actually a true hillbilly is from northern Michigan