POLITICS: Chicago Baggie Control

[Old Ironsights]

As if it required this to prove how patently absurd Prohibition (alcohol, gun, drug, whatever) is...

When bags are outlawed ...
March 11, 2008

They're just the thing for the organizationally challenged: tiny zippable plastic bags, commonly found dangling from the sleeve of a new blouse or sweater, with a spare button or loop of yarn enclosed.

Snip them off along with the price tag and you have the perfect storage vessel for the teensy items that litter your dresser, collect lint in your drawers or sink to the grungy bottom of your purse: A pair of earrings. A hand-tied trout fly. A midday dose of vitamins. An emergency stash of Advil. They're the perfect size for safety pins, postage stamps, that lock of hair from your toddler's first haircut -- or a single serving of crack cocaine.

What the drug dealers know that you probably didn't is that you can buy them by the boxful at many grocers and health food stores, instead of harvesting them one at a time from your clothing purchases.

If your heart skipped a beat at the thought of buying microbaggies in bulk -- imagine how much better your life would be if you could impose order on your jewelry box, your work bench, your cosmetics bag -- then you'd better move fast because the supplier may be as fleeting as your good intentions. The City Council is scheduled to vote Wednesday on a proposal to ban possession of "self-sealing plastic bags under 2 inches in either height or width."

Ald. Robert Fioretti, who pushed the proposed ordinance through the Health Committee last week, became disgusted after a walk around a West Side park turned up 15 of the bags. We know as well as Fioretti that the bags probably weren't dropped by an absent-minded philatelist, but we're not in the mood for another boneheaded crime-fighting measure that inconveniences law-abiding citizens more than the criminals.

The feds ordered stores to put a popular decongestant behind the pharmacy counter because there are people out there who make meth out of it. Thanks to them, we have to stand in two lines at the grocery store. You can't buy spray paint in Chicago, but that hasn't put the graffiti artists out of business. If the baggie ban passes, the dealers will surely find something else to wrap their goods in, but where are we supposed to keep our kids' baby teeth?

No, Fioretti's proposal wouldn't subject innocent citizens to arrest for carrying baggies of buttons. The $1,500 fine would apply only if the person holding the bags "reasonably should know that such items will be or are being used" to package a controlled substance. So you won't be fined for sorting your nuts, bolts and washers into those perfect little see-through packets. (OI>Define "reasonable"... anything like Illinois' "reasonable" gun control laws?)

You'll just have to buy a lot of shirts to get the job done, because nobody's going to sell you a box of bags. Nobody in Chicago, that is. Now that we think of it, this is just one more reason to make a trip to Gary, where you can get cheap gas and cigarettes and avoid the Cook County sales tax.

If the City Council is determined to legislate the size of plastic bags, we have a more practical problem that needs solving: In an age when it's possible to buy a Ziploc bag big enough to hold a bicycle, you can't fit a standard-size sandwich in a so-called "sandwich" bag. There oughta be a law against that.

Copyright © 2008, Chicago Tribune
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It's not about Baggie Control, it's about Control.

[gamekeeper]

The World is truly going Bonkers! I thought only the UK came up with stupid ideas. Today on the news the residents of an apartment block in England were told to remove all the Fire Extinguishers because people could be in danger trying to put out a fire!

[Rusty]

On the other hand, the more time they devote to some piece of stupid legislation like this, the less time they have to put something on you that will really put the screws to you.

[Old Ironsights]

The World is truly going Bonkers! I thought only the UK came up with stupid ideas. Today on the news the residents of an apartment block in England were told to remove all the Fire Extinguishers because people could be in danger trying to put out a fire!

It's the inevetible result of the psychopatholgy that compells people to believe that things are evil and that we can controll evil by "prohibiting" the possession of things.

I have yet to see a gun that kills on its own, a bottle of booze that leaps down the throat or a drug that wills itself into ones veins.

Punish activity that hurts other people - not the possession of a "thing".

"No man has a natural right to commit aggression on the equal rights of another, and this is ALL from which the Law ought to restrain him." – Thomas Jefferson

[Old Ironsights]

On the other hand, the more time they devote to some piece of stupid legislation like this, the less time they have to put something on you that will really put the screws to you.

Of course, about that time I'll go to a trade show at McCormick Place and get a freebie pen in a long-skinny ziplock and make the mistake of taking the pen out just before one of Chicago's "Political Cops" (in deference to the beat cops who are, by in large cool) will decide to shake me down and bust me for not only carrying one of several concealed weapons but get me for possession of "drug paraphenelia" too.

[Blaine]