The Humor Thread
Forum rules
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
-
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 5670
- Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:13 pm
- Location: DeeDee Snavely's Used Guns and Weapons
The Humor Thread
OK, it's been a little heavy around here lately. Very understandable but everyone can use a good chuckle every so often.
If The Powers that Be don't mind, I thought I'd start a thread for all of us to post some of those bits of humor we all run across at times (within the forum rules of course ). Keeping them in one place kind of makes it easier to find that little bit of pick me up we all need sometimes.
I'll start with some pics off the work computer:
If The Powers that Be don't mind, I thought I'd start a thread for all of us to post some of those bits of humor we all run across at times (within the forum rules of course ). Keeping them in one place kind of makes it easier to find that little bit of pick me up we all need sometimes.
I'll start with some pics off the work computer:
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
Re: The Humor Thread
That there camo couch looks like a useful item.
Now if I could only stop snoring......
Is there a noise suppression/stealth sort of attachment ya think?!?
-Stretch
Now if I could only stop snoring......
Is there a noise suppression/stealth sort of attachment ya think?!?
-Stretch
-
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 5670
- Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:13 pm
- Location: DeeDee Snavely's Used Guns and Weapons
Re: The Humor Thread
Two words: Protective Mask aka ProMask aka Gas Maskstretch wrote:That there camo couch looks like a useful item.
Now if I could only stop snoring......
Is there a noise suppression/stealth sort of attachment ya think?!?
-Stretch
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
- 2ndovc
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 9363
- Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:59 am
- Location: OH, South Shore of Lake Erie
Re: The Humor Thread
AND!
jb
jasonB " Another Dirty Yankee"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
Re: The Humor Thread
I love this vid . Sometimes when confronted by a bear a simple calm voice is all that is needed . A powerfull handgun or rifle is a very good back up plan if it is needed
http://www.wimp.com/curiousbear
http://www.wimp.com/curiousbear
Phil
Re: The Humor Thread
I always liked the picture of the EOD guy in the bomb suit doing his thing while someone about to bust a paper bag sneaks up behind him.
Anyone have that one saved?
Anyone have that one saved?
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
- Shasta
- Senior Levergunner
- Posts: 1558
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:50 pm
- Location: Shasta County, the far right stronghold in California
Re: The Humor Thread
California Rifle & Pistol Association LIFE Member
National Rifle Association BENEFACTOR LIFE Member
http://www.hcrpclub.org/schedule.html
avatar pic is Shasta Dam, Shasta Lake, & Mt. Shasta
National Rifle Association BENEFACTOR LIFE Member
http://www.hcrpclub.org/schedule.html
avatar pic is Shasta Dam, Shasta Lake, & Mt. Shasta
Re: The Humor Thread
I think this may be the one , can't copy the poster but it is here at this link:Rusty wrote:I always liked the picture of the EOD guy in the bomb suit doing his thing while someone about to bust a paper bag sneaks up behind him.
Anyone have that one saved?
http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/v ... PqRCxEbdxV
without the motivational poster this is the pic I was thinking of:
Phil
Re: The Humor Thread
a favorite of mine,
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
careful what you wish for, you might just get it.
"BECAUSE I CAN"
"BECAUSE I CAN"
Re: The Humor Thread
Thanks 1894 that's the one!
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
-
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 5670
- Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:13 pm
- Location: DeeDee Snavely's Used Guns and Weapons
Re: The Humor Thread
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
- gamekeeper
- Spambot Zapper
- Posts: 17486
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:32 pm
- Location: Over the pond unfortunately.
Re: The Humor Thread
By the way, the first photo of the Bear, did Ysabel Kid take that picture???
Whatever you do always give 100%........... unless you are donating blood.
Re: The Humor Thread
Some people just need a sympathetic pat on the head.....with a hammer. Repeatedly.
Re: The Humor Thread
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
What do you think you're doing? asks the wife.
They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies.
Put them back, we can't afford them demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing? asks the husband.
Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful, replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.
He never knew what hit him.
Next ... A Pharmacist's Monday
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car,
just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.
"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and
started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change,
and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and
the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back
against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke." "Meanwhile, the phone
is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife.
She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!!!"
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
What do you think you're doing? asks the wife.
They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies.
Put them back, we can't afford them demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing? asks the husband.
Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful, replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.
He never knew what hit him.
Next ... A Pharmacist's Monday
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car,
just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.
"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and
started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change,
and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and
the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back
against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke." "Meanwhile, the phone
is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife.
She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!!!"
Re: The Humor Thread
A friend sent me this tonight:
A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be the MAN of Your House, the KING of Your Castle."
Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and boldly announced to his wife, "From now on, you need to know that "I am the man of this house," and my word is the 'Law.'
Starting tonight, you will prepare me a gourmet meal, serve it to me on our fine china, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear then wash the dishes while I eat the scrumptious dessert you've served and drink the fresh espresso you've brewed.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want, without headaches or excuses!
Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You'll put on some soothing music, wash my back, towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then you'll massage give me a massage, paying special attention to my hands and feet in an effort to relieve any last bit of tension built up from the day, so that I can sleep like a baby.
Then, tomorrow morning, guess who's going to dress me, help me tie my tie and comb my hair?"
The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have you cremated."
A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be the MAN of Your House, the KING of Your Castle."
Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and boldly announced to his wife, "From now on, you need to know that "I am the man of this house," and my word is the 'Law.'
Starting tonight, you will prepare me a gourmet meal, serve it to me on our fine china, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear then wash the dishes while I eat the scrumptious dessert you've served and drink the fresh espresso you've brewed.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want, without headaches or excuses!
Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You'll put on some soothing music, wash my back, towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then you'll massage give me a massage, paying special attention to my hands and feet in an effort to relieve any last bit of tension built up from the day, so that I can sleep like a baby.
Then, tomorrow morning, guess who's going to dress me, help me tie my tie and comb my hair?"
The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have you cremated."
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
-
- Senior Levergunner
- Posts: 1005
- Joined: Fri Mar 30, 2007 9:17 am
- Location: Willamette Valley, OR, USA
Re: The Humor Thread
Some of my favorites:
P
P
We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand, of overwhelming power on the other.
General George C. Marshall, 1942
General George C. Marshall, 1942
-
- Senior Levergunner
- Posts: 1506
- Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 1:02 pm
- Location: Eastern Ohio, Foothills of Appalachia
- Contact:
Re: The Humor Thread
You know it had to rattle a little.
Gobbler
Gobbler
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Click Click Boom
Re: The Humor Thread
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt-
Isnt it amazing how many people post without reading the thread?
Isnt it amazing how many people post without reading the thread?
-
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 5670
- Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:13 pm
- Location: DeeDee Snavely's Used Guns and Weapons
Re: The Humor Thread
A guy stops at a hotel for the night. The desk clerk tells him "The rooms are $15 a night but if you make your own bed it's only $5 a night."
The guy thinks about it and says "OK, I'm willing to make my own bed to save $10."
The clerk tells him "Great! I'll go get the wood, nails and hammer."
The guy thinks about it and says "OK, I'm willing to make my own bed to save $10."
The clerk tells him "Great! I'll go get the wood, nails and hammer."
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
-
- Levergunner 2.0
- Posts: 249
- Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2007 12:12 am
- Location: Boise, Id
Re: The Humor Thread
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...
“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I is sure of eet.”
“Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee.”
So with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There’s raw bacon, dripping with moisture… fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon - every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!
“Pepe, Pepe - we ees saved - eees a bacon tree!”
“Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don’ forget.”
“Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon? Ees no meerage - ees a bacon tree.”
And with that, Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres - Pepe following closely behind - when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
“Pepe, go back man - you was right, ees not a bacon tree.”
“Luis, Luis, mi amigo… what ees eet?”
“Pepe, ees not a bacon tree… ees a Ham Bush.”
Just so bad I had to repost it....
Chris
“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I is sure of eet.”
“Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee.”
So with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There’s raw bacon, dripping with moisture… fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon - every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!
“Pepe, Pepe - we ees saved - eees a bacon tree!”
“Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don’ forget.”
“Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon? Ees no meerage - ees a bacon tree.”
And with that, Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres - Pepe following closely behind - when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
“Pepe, go back man - you was right, ees not a bacon tree.”
“Luis, Luis, mi amigo… what ees eet?”
“Pepe, ees not a bacon tree… ees a Ham Bush.”
Just so bad I had to repost it....
Chris
Re: The Humor Thread
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt-
Isnt it amazing how many people post without reading the thread?
Isnt it amazing how many people post without reading the thread?
-
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 5670
- Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:13 pm
- Location: DeeDee Snavely's Used Guns and Weapons
Re: The Humor Thread
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at