Christian One-Liners...

[Hobie]

I love these things, got more?

Example:
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

[Rusty]

Professional built the Titanic,

Noah built the ark,

Who you gonna trust,

[Fiddler]

Be a fisher of men: You catch 'em, He'll clean 'em.

[AJMD429]

"OT", "OT", "OT" . . .

[C. Cash]

Those are great Hobie. Funny but very true.

I've always liked:

Know Jesus, Know Peace. No Jesus, No Peace.

[MistWolf]

Who was the greatest financier in the history of the world?

Noah. When the whole world was in liquidation, he was the only one to float his stock

[bcp]

[Rusty]

Where was baseball mentioned in the Bible?

In the Big inning.

What kind of car did the Apostles drive?

A Honda, the Bible says they were all in one Accord.

[C. Cash]

Also, according to some women in the Church, it is written in the Bible that men are the ones who are to make the Coffee everyday. It's apparently found in the book of Hebrews.......

pfft, pfft, pfft....it this thing on?

[mklwhite]

I always liked
"Many people want to serve God... as advisers."
and
"We need more followers of Jesus and fewer idolaters of the Bible."

[Hobie]

Ok, so are there a bunch of Jewish or Muslim or even Zoroastrian one-liners?

[Grizz]

Man encounters bear in woods and prays, "Lord, I pray this is a Christian bear."

The bear prays, "Lord, bless this meal I am about to receive."

Grizz

[Old Ironsights]

Ok, so are there a bunch of Jewish or Muslim or even Zoroastrian one-liners?

All of recorded history is a Jewish One Liner...

Oy Vey...

[xxclaro]

Where was baseball mentioned in the Bible?

In the Big inning.

What kind of car did the Apostles drive?

A Honda, the Bible says they were all in one Accord.

Did you know there where cars and motorbikes even in the OT? Indeed, KingDavid was the first motorcyclist-
"....and the sound of his Triumph was heard throughout the land..."

Before that? A Plymouth in the garden of Eden!
"...and God,in his Fury, drove them from the Garden..."

[okdee]

Thanks for the gut busters!

[bcp]

In a small Southern town there was a 'Nativity Scene' that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it.

One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a 'Quick Stop' on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.

She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, 'You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!'

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage.

Sticking it in my face she said 'See, it says right here,

'The three wise man came from afar.''


http://noolmusic.com/funny_jokes/religi ... _bible.php

[Fiddler]

Jews don't recognize Jesus.
Protestants don't recognize the Pope.
Southern Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.

[MistWolf]

My grandfather claimed to be an atheist. "There is no Heaven or Hell and when a man dies, he's simply no more."

When he died, we outfitted him in his best suit and placed him in his coffin. I couldn't resist. "Look at you Grandpa," I said. "All dressed up and nowhere to go!"

[Rusty]

David was also the first rock star mentioned in the Bible...

He took a rock and rolled a giant.


I'm not sure we want to bring the Muslims into this, they don't have much of a sense of humor. They blow up over the smallest things.

[RIHMFIRE]

all good ones!

[Fiddler]

What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian Universalist?

Someone who goes around knocking on doors for no apparent reason.

[Fiddler]

What's the difference between a Northern Baptist and a Southern Baptist?

One says there ain't no hell.
The other says the hell there ain't!