Christian One-Liners...
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Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Christian One-Liners...
I love these things, got more?
Example:
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
Example:
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
Sincerely,
Hobie
"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we find in our travels is an honest friend." Robert Louis Stevenson
Hobie
"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we find in our travels is an honest friend." Robert Louis Stevenson
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Professional built the Titanic,
Noah built the ark,
Who you gonna trust,
Noah built the ark,
Who you gonna trust,
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Be a fisher of men: You catch 'em, He'll clean 'em.
- AJMD429
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Re: Christian One-Liners...
"OT", "OT", "OT" . . .
Doctors for Sensible Gun Laws
"first do no harm" - gun control LAWS lead to far more deaths than 'easy access' ever could.
Want REAL change? . . . . . "Boortz/Nugent in 2012 . . . ! "
"first do no harm" - gun control LAWS lead to far more deaths than 'easy access' ever could.
Want REAL change? . . . . . "Boortz/Nugent in 2012 . . . ! "
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Those are great Hobie. Funny but very true.
I've always liked:
Know Jesus, Know Peace. No Jesus, No Peace.
I've always liked:
Know Jesus, Know Peace. No Jesus, No Peace.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Who was the greatest financier in the history of the world?
Noah. When the whole world was in liquidation, he was the only one to float his stock
Noah. When the whole world was in liquidation, he was the only one to float his stock
I am American
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Where was baseball mentioned in the Bible?
In the Big inning.
What kind of car did the Apostles drive?
A Honda, the Bible says they were all in one Accord.
In the Big inning.
What kind of car did the Apostles drive?
A Honda, the Bible says they were all in one Accord.
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Also, according to some women in the Church, it is written in the Bible that men are the ones who are to make the Coffee everyday. It's apparently found in the book of Hebrews.......
pfft, pfft, pfft....it this thing on?
pfft, pfft, pfft....it this thing on?
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Re: Christian One-Liners...
I always liked
"Many people want to serve God... as advisers."
and
"We need more followers of Jesus and fewer idolaters of the Bible."
"Many people want to serve God... as advisers."
and
"We need more followers of Jesus and fewer idolaters of the Bible."
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Ok, so are there a bunch of Jewish or Muslim or even Zoroastrian one-liners?
Sincerely,
Hobie
"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we find in our travels is an honest friend." Robert Louis Stevenson
Hobie
"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we find in our travels is an honest friend." Robert Louis Stevenson
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Man encounters bear in woods and prays, "Lord, I pray this is a Christian bear."
The bear prays, "Lord, bless this meal I am about to receive."
Grizz
The bear prays, "Lord, bless this meal I am about to receive."
Grizz
- Old Ironsights
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Re: Christian One-Liners...
All of recorded history is a Jewish One Liner...Hobie wrote:Ok, so are there a bunch of Jewish or Muslim or even Zoroastrian one-liners?
Oy Vey...
C2N14... because life is not energetic enough.
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Rusty wrote:Where was baseball mentioned in the Bible?
In the Big inning.
What kind of car did the Apostles drive?
A Honda, the Bible says they were all in one Accord.
Did you know there where cars and motorbikes even in the OT? Indeed, KingDavid was the first motorcyclist-
"....and the sound of his Triumph was heard throughout the land..."
Before that? A Plymouth in the garden of Eden!
"...and God,in his Fury, drove them from the Garden..."
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Thanks for the gut busters!
FAMILY
NRA LIFE
TSRA
SASS
HGCA
Life is Grand! Live it!
OKDEE
NRA LIFE
TSRA
SASS
HGCA
Life is Grand! Live it!
OKDEE
Re: Christian One-Liners...
In a small Southern town there was a 'Nativity Scene' that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it.
One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a 'Quick Stop' on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.
She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, 'You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!'
I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage.
Sticking it in my face she said 'See, it says right here,
'The three wise man came from afar.''
http://noolmusic.com/funny_jokes/religi ... _bible.php
One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a 'Quick Stop' on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.
She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, 'You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!'
I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage.
Sticking it in my face she said 'See, it says right here,
'The three wise man came from afar.''
http://noolmusic.com/funny_jokes/religi ... _bible.php
Re: Christian One-Liners...
Jews don't recognize Jesus.
Protestants don't recognize the Pope.
Southern Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.
Protestants don't recognize the Pope.
Southern Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.
Re: Christian One-Liners...
My grandfather claimed to be an atheist. "There is no Heaven or Hell and when a man dies, he's simply no more."
When he died, we outfitted him in his best suit and placed him in his coffin. I couldn't resist. "Look at you Grandpa," I said. "All dressed up and nowhere to go!"
When he died, we outfitted him in his best suit and placed him in his coffin. I couldn't resist. "Look at you Grandpa," I said. "All dressed up and nowhere to go!"
I am American
Re: Christian One-Liners...
David was also the first rock star mentioned in the Bible...
He took a rock and rolled a giant.
I'm not sure we want to bring the Muslims into this, they don't have much of a sense of humor. They blow up over the smallest things.
He took a rock and rolled a giant.
I'm not sure we want to bring the Muslims into this, they don't have much of a sense of humor. They blow up over the smallest things.
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Re: Christian One-Liners...
What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian Universalist?
Someone who goes around knocking on doors for no apparent reason.
Someone who goes around knocking on doors for no apparent reason.
Re: Christian One-Liners...
What's the difference between a Northern Baptist and a Southern Baptist?
One says there ain't no hell.
The other says the hell there ain't!
One says there ain't no hell.
The other says the hell there ain't!