OT: Miller's Law

[J Miller]

Some years ago I began spouting off Millers law when certain situations came up. Eventually it got to the point they were hard to keep in order so I put them to paper.
I was looking for one to cover a situation on another forum and had forgot what I had written down. The first 15 come from personal experiences. The last ones came from other folks.
So just for the heck of it, here's Miller's Law:

MILLER’S LAW
Revised 01-22-05
Subject to revision without notice.



1. Never turn down free money.
2. Never turn down free food.
3. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. If it’s fun you can do it again.
4. The lane you move into automatically becomes the slow lane.
5. Never sell or buy a vehicle to or from a relative or friend. Only bad things can come from it.
6. If you work for a relative for pay, GET IT IN WRITING.
7. The trouble you have acquiring something is directly proportional to how much you want it.
8. When you want to sell something, nobody wants it. When you want to keep
something, everybody wants it, and will try to take it from you.
9. The worst day shooting is better than the best day working.
10. When you don’t know what you want to do about any given subject, you get lots of opinions and innuendos, and little good advice. When you finally make a decision, no one agrees with it, even if it was their suggestion.
11. If you are dealing with GOOD people: Do unto them as you would have them do unto you.
12. If you are dealing with DUBIOUS people: Do unto them before they do unto you.
13. Never try to grab a scared panicked cat, they are meaner than you, and you WILL suffer SEVERE consequences.
14. Murphy’s Law applies to all rules without exception.
15. If you have two of anything, and you get one fixed..........the other one will break.
16. Addendum; Apply where ever necessary.
Everyone knows Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong will..." - Here are some other laws you may not have heard!

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Lowery's Law of Home Repair: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Beach's Law: Interchangeable parts aren't.

William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

Lane's Law of Supply and Demand: The one item you need is always in short supply.

Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Norman Einstein's Law: If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Col. Murphy's Law of Combat: Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

Joe

[Griff]

Joe, them's some of the best! And, don't forget, Murphy was an optimist!

[madman4570]

Joe,

That baby is getting printed and placed right on my Tool shops wall cabinet between my signed Willie Nelson poster and my "Miller" High Life beer poster of this good looking lady hunter in a boat duck hunting with the phrase "After the hard day is done "its Miller Time" Wise words Joe/Thanks!

[Blaine]

If I may, Sir...

No good deed goes unpunished.

From the Music World:

If the dress rehersal goes perfect, you're screwed opening night.

[Terry Murbach]

OH SHUCKS JOSE, YOU FORGOT MURBACH'S LAW OF HUMAN INTERACTION :
THERE ARE ENOUGH NICE FOLKS IN THE WORLD, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER THE "ICE"HOLES.

[Rusty]

How about the sign in the parts house near me...


A lack of planing on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

[Griff]

How about the sign in the parts house near me...
A lack of planing on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Rusty, when I was aboard ship, the parts shack had posted, "All orders for delivery yesterday, MUST be placed before noon tomorrow!" So few understood...

[RIHMFIRE]

How about the sign in the parts house near me...


A lack of planing on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

unfortunately in the world of architecture and construction...
my field of work...that happens every blasted day...

[milton]

There is NO problem that cannot be fixed with a few pounds of high explosive or a GOOD hammer!

[stew71]

- Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwinds.
- Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
- Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are much better than a med-evac extraction.
- The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
- Never fly the 'A' model of anything.
- Never fly anything that doesn't have the paint worn off the rudder pedals.
- A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.

[Blaine]

- Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwinds.
- Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
- Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are much better than a med-evac extraction.
- The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
- Never fly the 'A' model of anything.
- Never fly anything that doesn't have the paint worn off the rudder pedals.
- A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.

The one I liked was: AIR SPEED, ALTITUDE, FUEL and LUCK....You need any two out of four to make a flight.

[Noah Zark]

Zark's First Law of Cesspools: "No matter how many turds you rake off the surface, more will float to the top."

The Second Law of Thermodynamics, stated simply by Noah Zark: "There is no such thing as a free lunch."

Noah

[madman4570]

Noah,
And I was just going to take a nice dip tonight!
Whats that thing????????????????? Wasnt me

[20cows]

Never try to grab a scared panicked cat, they are meaner than you, and you WILL suffer SEVERE consequences.

I have lasting evidence.

[mescalero1]

been there, done that...................................................
much to my regret

[Alan Wood]

Excellent list Joe! Particularly the one about cats.

[dbateman]

mate those laws are grate thanks guys