OT - tax question, sorta...

[greasy dan]

You guys know everything, so I need some advise. This is a new one on me. My second daughter went with me to the range last weekend... first time since she was about 5-years old. She is getting angry and afraid. She had a little girl over 3-years ago. The boy promised her the world, including marriage... then skipped to another state 2000 miles away. He contacts my daughter rarely, usually when he is not happy about something. He contacted her a little over a week ago, and told her that HE was claiming the child on his taxes this year... because she finally took out child-support papers on him, and the courts are making him pay it. The little girl (my grandaughter) lives in my home with my daughter and my wife... has ever since she was borne. The boy has never been to our house to see her, although my daughter took the grandaughter to see him three times (against my wishes)... last time about a year ago. Can he legally claim the grandaughter on his taxes, although he makes no effort to contact her or visit..?? Also, my daughter is afraid that he will try to "snatch" the child, and take her out of state back to BFE. She is afraid that a plane ticket would be cheaper for him than Child Support payments. I know what I want to do... but there are laws against that, you know. Any advise would be helpful.

[mescalero1]

Why I am saying anything is beyond me as I have no children.
But I remember seeing some tax code stuff that stated the child must be provided for by you, housing , clothing , feeding,etc. for 6 months of a given year.
How about a name and a state, maybe some of us could arrainge to shooting there someday, maybe stop by and say hi.

[J Miller]

greasy dan,

I'm not a lawyer nor a tax accountant but my suggestion is you contact both.

The first would be a lawyer to get your daughter court ordered full and sole custody, if it hasn't been done all ready.

The second the tax accountant who should know the answer to your question.

Joe

[Ray Newman]

See what J.Miller wrote.

What is the "BFE"?

Again, see what J. Miller wrote.

[mescalero1]

Bum F##k Egypt

[Thunder50]

I don't know about this, but I have read where the first spouse to file their taxes and claim the child usually gets the tax deduction. Its not law, but I think it was something in the WSJ I read a couple of years ago. 1) Ask your tax guy and 2) Have your Daughter get sole custody

[mikld]

Been there. The answer I got is NO. I got angry at ex and tried to claim child as dependant, no can do. Full custody, not just partial or 50/50, is the determining factor. At least that is what I was told here in Calif.

[oldmax]

sole custody VERY Important, For more reasons other than Taxes,

Like Medical decisions , removal of child from Domicile,

[Ray Newman]

To put it bluntly, if "BFE" means butt f**k Egypt, you and your daughter are very foolish not seeking legal advice & the sooner, the better.

[Cast Bullet Hunter]

The custodial parent gets the deduction unless she/he has assigned the right to the deduction to the non-custodial parent.

BTDT Got the T-shirt.

If the father is listed on the Birth Certificate then she should take legal action to be ajudicated as having sole custodial rights unless she wants to allow the father visitation, etc. If he isn't listed then he would have to either prove parentage or, if your daughter wants to collect support, she would have to declare him as the father and he fail to challenge the assertion. She would then have to prove that he should not have visitation as he is an un-fit parent due to a valid reason acceptable to the court.

With very few exceptions, once child support is ordered it will continue until the child reaches majority even though the supposed father may be able to genetically prove he is not, in fact, the father.

[bogus bill]

Been there tried that also in southern calif years ago. No, he cant take the deduction unless your daughter agrees to it. Now over all what works best in the real world is another matter. Legaly, I dont belive he can claim her. A old lawyer once posed this to me. "If a lion has your arm in its mouth, what do you do? You use your other arm to pet the lion!" The pair should try to work something safe out for the grandchilds sake. Guess you should go by your nose. These things usualy get better with time. Good Luck!

[Duff L Bagg]

I paid child support for 16 years and was never able to claim the children on my taxes because I did not have it in the divorce decree. The custodial parent is the only one to be able to claim the child for tax purposes unless otherwise stated in the decree .

[Ysabel Kid]

greasy dan,

I'm not a lawyer nor a tax accountant but my suggestion is you contact both.

The first would be a lawyer to get your daughter court ordered full and sole custody, if it hasn't been done all ready.

The second the tax accountant who should know the answer to your question.

Joe

Joe, as usual, hit the nail squarely on the head here. Go to the experts - and be sure!

[greasy dan]

Thanks for the replies. I knew you all would have the right answers as usual. The daughter has an appointment with a "custody" lawyer later this week. I plan to go with her. And to mescalero1... thanks for the offer. Believe me, I have had similar offers from local varmint exterminators. You all are great. I am pleased to be associated with such a fine group of "shall we say, family men". I intend to keep taking my daughters to the range as well. They need all the practice they can get. The best to all of you... Thanks.

[MikeS.]

Y'all saw the pics of the Marlin I bought Ava for Christmas, right? Well we are sorta in the same situation. We totally raised her from birth to 7 years with minimal help from her mother and absolutely none from the sperm donor. Our daughter always claimed Ava on her taxes. We didn't fight the issue. We too were afraid that the sperm donor might try to visit and snatch her. Luckily he doesn't care enough.

Greasy Dan, have you considered getting legal Guardianship?

[horsesoldier03]

I still have the same wife I started with so Custody Suits and Court Rulings arnt my expertise. I do work with 3 guys that all have kids with an ex wife. The court ruling that ordered him to pay child support should state who can claim. IMO it should be who has custody. I seriously doubt his child support payment could count as the larger cost of the expense of raising a kid. Tell her to double up her fist and tell him she is claiming the child as support until he has something on paper that states otherwise. In some cases, I have seen the tax advantage split where each parent gets to claim the child every other year. Its a sad world when the only reason a parent wants something to do with his kid is claim them as a deduction!

[greasy dan]

to MikeS...
The only time the wife & I, as grandparents, considered "legal guardianship" was once, when our daughter was considering moving out to Ida-*******-ho with the useless bass-tid. We discussed it, and decided if our daughter was foolish enough to move out there with HIM... the grand-baby was staying in NC with us. Fortunately, that never happened. Now, he just aggrivates my daughter by phone or email when he gets behind in court-ordered child-support.
Many thanks to each of you for all the suggestions though. We see a lawyer in 2 days.

[greasy dan]

dang Lawyers... $170 per hour... and people outa work... Sheeeesh.