HUMOR- Blonde Spoonerisims...

[Old Ironsights]

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers over the last Year. A lady stood and walked to the podium.

She said, 'I have praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.'

You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.

She continued, 'Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.'

Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim. She continued, 'Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely.' All the men sighed with relief.

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say.

A man rose and walked to the podium. He said, 'Hi, I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife...,










...the word is sternum.'

[kimwcook]

Dohh!

[Rusty]

We had a clerk that handled our health are paperwork like that once.

[Ysabel Kid]

[.45colt]

. I just this morning(this is a true story) got a phone call about one of the blond family members...She is an animal lover and was driveing home and hit a squirrel with her car. so what to do when you whack a fox squirrel when it 20* outside????
We wrap it in a rag put it in the car and drive to Mom's house .on the way Mr squirrel comes to and uses the car for a hamster wheel..finally lodging himself under the seat. then we pull into Mom's garage and the two spend 45 minutes getting it out of the car.it then get's lost in the garage and needed to be rustled outside. All by two hysterical Women. . I laughed till I cried. Blond's are Fun.

[Chuck 100 yd]

!!!!

[Borregos]

[jeepnik]

In defense of blondes, my younger sister with phd is blonde, She would simply have stuck a bug bomb in the car and waited a few hours, then removed the offending critter. Of course, that's assuming she would have stopped in the first place. Crows gotta eat too.

[Terry Murbach]

I MUST BE BLIND AS I DO NOT SEE A SPOONERISM.
A SPOONERISM IS A WORD LIKE " SISTYUGLER."

[AJMD429]

Isn't a "Spoonerism" something to do with the pithy Libertarian comments made in the Civil War era by Lysander Spooner...?

(Lysander Spooner seemed like a cool guy - instead of starting the War of Northern Aggression, he said if 'freeing the slaves' was the true goal, the North should just ARM them, and let them free themselves. Of course it is probably illegal to teach about Spooner in history class nowdays, since schools classify Jefferson's writing and Thomas Paine's writing as "anti-government propaganda" if they discover it in a student's automobile or locker when snooping about...)

[El Chivo]

Spooner was someone with a speech impediment that made him switch the first sounds of two words in the same sentence, as TERRY MURBACH said.

So, "top of the heap" becomes "hop of the teap", etc.

We all do it once in a while but he did it so much they named it after him.

I came here looking for spoonerisms but would settle for a palindrome.

[JustaJeepGuy]

And when was the last time you saw a brunette with blonde roots?