HUMOR - Larry the Cable Guy Logic

[Ysabel Kid]

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. Liquidity is key

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets The cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates - it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

[RIHMFIRE]

[Borregos]

[Blaine]

I saw his Christmas special.....Now, I'm not close to being a prude, but that show was really filthy and I would have been embarassed to watch that with my mother or daughter..Nothing "Christmas" about it...

[awp101]

Along those same lines YK:

What was the greatest thing BEFORE sliced bread?

How can you tell if your bagpipes are out of tune?

If you shoot a mime, do you have use a suppressor?

[Rusty]

How do you tune two banjos?

Burn one of them.


You're right. Larry used to be kind of funny but he's become so dirty I don't watch him any more.

Glad I don't pay for cable or dish any more.

[adirondakjack]

The wife and I saw Larry live in Albany NY last Spring. He's hilarious. Yes, he's ribald at times, moronic at other times, but he's still hilarious. If ya get uneasy with his TV stuff, his live stuff is NOT for you. If yer among those who can deal with some cussin in good fun, he's gonna have ya rollin in the aisles.

"OK, we gotta set some ground rules here in All-benny. then he goes on to ASK the audience if they approve of certain words. The crowd roars as he tells of nearly getting beat up (or not paid) for using certain words, "so I gotta check with ya'all". "Then 88888 it shall be" (huge roar of applause).......

[rjohns94]

he cracks me up

[dkmlever]

Very funny. I just bought tickets to see him perform in April.

[gamekeeper]

I've never seen this guy but I like the logic, especially #7

[Birdman]

His TV stuff is funny. I saw him live once, won't waste the money to do that again.

[Ysabel Kid]

I've only seen Larry on the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" specials, and he was hysterical in those!