HUMOR - the French President

[rjohns94]

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at
the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland.. I am ringing to inform you that we
are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'

'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?'

'Right now,'says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me
Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from
the pub. That makes eleven!'

Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army
waiting to move on my command.'

'Begoora!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still
on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.

'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'

Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and
5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to
150,000 since we last spoke.'

'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still
on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'

'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'

'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of
heart?'

'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and
packets of crisps, and we decided there is no way we can feed
200,000 prisoners.'

[TedH]

[Ysabel Kid]

Sounds about accurate to me!!!

[Ysabel Kid]

From a Marine in Bosnia (this is a few years old)...

A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia). A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we (Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war. He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count in the support of France.

I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface at some point in the near future anyway. That is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of faggots for soldiers.

I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support was only for show anyway. Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden, as evidenced by the fact that the French officer was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way around.

He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and beat his butt in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average Frenchman. He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked off in a huff.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Mary Beth Johnson, LtCol, USMC

[Andrew]

Oh man, that was a good one!

[2ndovc]

Those are both great!!

Lanks for the laugh

jb

[alnitak]

[Borregos]

[Bullard4075]

I have a bumper sticker on my pickup that reads:

FOR SALE
FRENCH RIFLE
DROPPED ONCE

[jeepnik]

I think I'll take a bit of a different tack here. It isn't the individual French soldier that is the problem. It's their government. I met a few long ago that were pretty good fellows. They have the same problem with their government, that my generation had with ours. A bunch of gutless cowards who caved under political pressure and failed miserably at supporting the fighting man in the field. Anyway, like I said, a bit of a different view.