Roping A Deer

[colo native]

Roping A Deer------- (Names have been removed to protect
the Stupid!)

Actual letter from someone who farms and writes well!
I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in
a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill
it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I
figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and
do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a
bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags
of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet
away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it
and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie
it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my
rope.
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed
well back. They were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I
picked out...a likely looking one, stepped out from the end
of the feeder, and threw...my rope. The deer just stood
there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I
would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared
at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the
whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a
little tension on the rope and then received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may
just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it,
they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that
rope.

That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer
is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in
that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with
some dignity.

A deer---no chance!
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was
no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As
it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the
ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was
not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina
as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as
quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to
get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I
was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash
in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
venison. I just wanted to get that thing off the end of my
rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around
its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.
At the time, there was no love at all between me and that
deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture
a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots
where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by
bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me
across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some
tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in,
so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow
death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my
truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before
hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.
I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I
could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million
years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so
I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that
rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a
horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites
you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite
HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to
freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking
instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer
was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was
likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning
that claim by now), tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right
arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope
loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior
for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear
right up on their back feet and strike right about head and
shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I
learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse
-- strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get
away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud
noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal.
This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can
escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such
trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I
devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and
tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and
run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good
chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer
may not be so different from horses after all, besides being
twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I
turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does
not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that
the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back
and jump up and down on you while you are laying there
crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer
went away.
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a
rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.

[gamekeeper]

That's too funny!

[Lefty Dude]

Thats just too good to be true.

My Morning Coffee is sitting in my lap, I was laughing so hard.

[O.S.O.K.]

Good story. Classic style. "Did you know that deer bite? They do!"

[GonnePhishin]

What a Dillweed!!!!

[AmBraCol]

It figures. I'd read this before but received it again this week. Thought I'd share it with all y'all but did a search first. Of COURSE it's been shared already... Still, it's hilarious!

[mescalero1]

Several cowboys from back home have done this, two of them were hospitalized!

[Blaine]

There was this Okie in my last outfit that swore that he would jump one from a tree someday..... Come to think of it, that sucker owes me money, too

[AmBraCol]

Several cowboys from back home have done this, two of them were hospitalized!

I do believe that this falls under "Not the best idea I ever came up with" category. It'd be interesting to know how many folks have tried this over the centuries. Wherever there's a young man and a horse and a rope and a (fill in the blank) you're likely to end up with some entertaining (for the bystanders) antics.

[deerwhacker444]

When I saw "Roping a Deer" I thought for sure it was for this.

Roping a Deer

I wonder how long before it would tire itself out..?

[pharmseller]

"Hey, hold my beer and watch this!"


P

[piller]

Bart Skelton told a story of a cowboy who tried to rope a javalina, I think, and had a sort of similar result. I'll stick with my levergun in .480 Ruger as it only kicks me when I mean for it to.

[Otto]

When I saw "Roping a Deer" I thought for sure it was for this.

Roping a Deer

I wonder how long before it would tire itself out..?

WHEEE!!

WHEEE!!

WHEEE!!

WHEEE!!

[kimwcook]

Pharmseller, you beat me to it. How do you know when a redneck is about to do something really stupid....

[AmBraCol]

When I saw "Roping a Deer" I thought for sure it was for this.

Roping a Deer

I wonder how long before it would tire itself out..?

I love that video too. My uncle sent it to me a while back. I wonder what the odds are that you could snag a whitetail with a rope swing? Do you suppose he was trying to use it to polish his horns? Did he just walk under it? I wonder what the rest of the story is. Note to self - if you decide to rope a white tail, make sure the other end of the rope's tied way up in a tree...