Dear Civilians, we know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of our National Anthem - kick their butt.
2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning our American Flag in protest - kick their butt.
3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their butt.
4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or jungle fatigues, telling others that you used to be in "Special Forces." Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old, now it will only make you look stupid and get your butt kicked.
5. Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an butt-kicking (children are exempt).
6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform them of their mistake - and kick their butt.
7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your darn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe butt-kicking.
8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your butt kicked!
9. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me – stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore could kick your butt!
10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me - if you see anyone calling those darn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their butt!
11. 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), ‘Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your butt kicked.
12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get it's butt kicked.
It's the veteran, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.
It's the veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
It's the veteran, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.
It's the military who salutes the flag,
who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protester to burn the flag."
One more:
13. If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing our National Anthem in Spanish - KICK THEIR BUTT.
