Yesterday I was at Walmart buying a large bag of Purina Dog chow for my loyal pet Sheriff the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. We have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
OT Humor - Be careful what you ask a retiree
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Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
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Doc Hudson
- Member Emeritus
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OT Humor - Be careful what you ask a retiree
Doc Hudson, OOF, IOFA, CSA, F&AM, SCV, NRA LIFE MEMBER, IDJRS #002, IDCT, King of Typoists
Amici familia ab lectio est


UNITE!
Amici familia ab lectio est


UNITE!
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awp101
- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: OT Humor - Be careful what you ask a retiree
And that will be forwarded to The Old Man who retired a little over a year ago... 
If these walls could talk, I'd listen to the floor.
- Ysabel Kid
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bunklocoempire
- Senior Levergunner
- Posts: 1214
- Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:34 pm
- Location: Big Island
Re: OT Humor - Be careful what you ask a retiree
Wife and I loved that! Thank you! We too will forward that on to some retired folk.
Bunkloco
Bunkloco
“We, as a group, now have a greater moral responsibility to act than those who live in ignorance, once you become knowledgeable you have an obligation to do something about it.” Ron Paul
- 2ndovc
- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: OT Humor - Be careful what you ask a retiree
That's Funny!!!
jb
jb
jasonB " Another Dirty Yankee"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
